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Friends of Shimix

 
~476~ New...
Listening to: Static X-Cold
Feeling: alone
I haven't been here in FOREVER. I actually have a man that I've had for about six months, that I've known for 3 years.. He's amazzzzzing. ♥ him like mad.

.... That is all..




~*~*~ Two Words Once Choice No Regrets~*~*~
383 hit(s) (0 comments) | ~Kill me quickly~  
stuffed toes and broken knees
Listening to: none
Feeling: alive
lol, i still cants think of titles fer this. and im screwin up this journal. i thought i lost it @_@ lol. ah well. ish here. if anythin looks off, i didnt mean to. lol.

anyhow, meh last entry was titled "rainbow fingers and cross bows" i made a poem fer it. here it ish.

*********************
bruised from the doors slammed
drippling with blood from the broken promises
revenge on the shattered mind
pleading for one last breathe
aiming at the heart that caused the pain
rainbow fingers and cross bows

cant find any way to pay them back
this seems so right
aiming again to find a peace of mind
ice cold blood falling from the weapon of
choice
make them pay, make them regret
that heart will never do this again
rainbow fingers and crossbows

down twice, and once again
reach inside and grab thier heart out
squeeze it tight till theres nothing left
blood turns warm, and darker
falling faster to the ground
another shattered life
rainbow fingers and crossbows

killed the heart that caused you pain
its not enough
take revenge on another life
another heart thats tormented your mind
aim again, and once more
watch the life fall from the breatheless body
rainbow fingers and crossbows
******************************
and heres another:

i feel like a zomby
walking lifeless in this world
it burns
i feel nothing
you hate me
i love you
insecure, broken on the floor
you walk over me
you crush my fingers with your feet
the handle lays in my hand
you sit there, watching
watching as the blood hits the floor
i feel nothing
flames engolf the floor around me
you walk away
i mean nothing
the careless move of your walk
throws arrows into my, once alive, heart
i feel nothing
twisting my veins till the explode
no ones watching me now
still, i feel nothing
**************************

ooh! i talked ta drew on the phone!! :D lol. he said im sooo quiet *^_^* lol. i dun mean ta be. ish jus, phones make me nervous. and plus, talkin ta someone ive never actually seen in person before....*shrugs* i dunno ^_^ he sounds cool thoug :p lol.
139 hit(s) (4 comments) | bReAk Me  
Okay So....
Okay so alot has changed since my last entry. Sonny's completely outta picture and im completely happy about it really. Because i found someone that treats me better makes me happy makes me smile. He's just as good as sonny only like 5,000 times better. Dustin. MY dustin, not jordan's MY dustin...lol And one of my new best friends..well not new anymore but she was in the middle of the school year. She moved to idaho and she's so so depressed she's threatening to kill herself and i'm really tired of that crap..but she's trying to find a place to live down here cause her mother says she can move back down if she can find a place to live :). She calls me like every 5 minutes, so i kinda rarely pick up the phone anymore. She's got one of those "I dont give a shit" personalities that really can just piss you off sometimes. She kinda the total opposite of me. kinda...but i luv her nonetheless and i miss her...although it still hasnt really hit me that she's really GONE...never coming back GONE...This summer Dustin's coming to visit for a week. We're going to the fair on the 27th of July which is the day before he leaves. We're going to An All-American Rejects concert that's FREE can you believe it...an AAR concert (and AAR is like a HUGE band) is having a FREE concert..all you have to do is pay for the ticket to get in and your set...and you have to get there like 5 hours early but still its awesome. I cant wait for that..or the 23rd which is the day we're picking Dustin up from the airport :) thats really all the update i can give. =D
58 hit(s) (0 comments) | life's a bitch  
It's weird writing in here agian. I haven't been on SitDiary for a while. I guess it reminded me too much of Matt. But he never goes on anymore. And since he decided to completely lose touch with me, I've been able to totally get over him. People really surprise me...

I have to see the new Therapist tomorrow. The appointment is at 7:30. I don't want to go because she is an Eating Disorder specialist and those people always find something wrong with me. But I'm just going to keep my head up and just freakin go.
674 hit(s) (8 comments) | *BOOM!* explosion!  
 
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