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matthewjerusalem
Listening to: my boo-usher f alicia keys.
Feeling: dandy
I’ve had to live without you for almost two days. What do they know I’ve seen you everyday. Whether it was two hours Or five minutes. Those spans of time are the ones I look forward to most when I open my eyes at sunrise. They’re the ones that consume my thoughts When they stand there and preach their laws of cosine and sine. They’re the ones that somehow manage to flow into my every thought and envelope my every desire. The ones that keep me awake at night, And make me wonder what I could have possibly done to deserve someone as perfect and amazing as you. But they’re the ones that put me to sleep at night. They’re the comfort I seek in your arms, only Second best. Have I told you, you’re the last thing I see when I lay my head upon my pillow and put my thoughts to rest, and the first thing I wake up to when the rooster calls? I can’t fathom what I would do if you were to stop talking to me, stop holding me, stop creating the bubble of security you do. Have I yet to mention your eyes? How I could stare into them for hours Upon hours Upon hours. Upon end? They swallow me, leaving spots of sea salt on my fingertips, you know how when sea salt evaporates, you have little spots left? That’s what your eyes do to me, imprint themselves on the inside of my eyelids. I like how we’ve never made out, you’ve never pressured me into anything I didn’t want to do. I like how I don’t have to question whether or not you like me. I like how it’s all there. The fact that you’re magical.
523 hit(s) (0 comments) | droppings.  
Against My Better Judgement
Feeling: misunderstood
I have fallen once more from the grace of God, All though there doesn't seem to be much grace to fall from anymore, I sinned and will not repent, I will die alone, A sinner not a saint like I could, There are many things I could do but choose not to, I could be great if I tried but I have made my own decisions and it seems this hole I am in is to deep to escape, And with everyday I slip further and further away, The one thing I want is distant yet always on my mind, Close but at the same time so far, The problem I have is in my head, So I try to drowned it out with the things i do, The cut, The jib, The pack, The bowl, All result in the cloud I blow, The feeling that comes next is hard to describe, The feeling of God with a dry mouth and no appetite, The dilation in your eyes and fatigue you feel, The withdrawal makes you want to die, And you promise yourself you'll never do it again but you know its a lie, I wish I could have my life back, I wish i could take control, But no one ever gets what they wish for, There's no Genie in this lamp, No three wishs for me, No storytale ending is in sight, But an ending of some kind is what I need, I still dont understand why I do what I do, I don't know if i really want to, I'm drowning in this, And i know there is no way for me to escape, I'm drowning in all the problems i create, Although I am not the only one at fault, I will take all the blame for what has been done, I have no other choice, Nothing makes me happy anymore, This is the last time i will ever bleed to feel alive, Because this is the last time I will bleed, My blood has all run dry
209 hit(s) (0 comments) | Slit my wrists  
sun blows
i am sunburnt
604 hit(s) (1 comments) | blow me  
There for you
Nothing says it more than this... This is why I don't want to go to Japan... I love you

Sometimes I'm selfish fake
You're always a true friend
And I don't deserve you
'Cause I'm not there for you
Please forgive me again

I wanna be there for you
Someone you can come to
Runs deeper than my bones
I wanna be there for you
I wanna be there for you

Swirling shades of blue
Slow dancing in your eyes
Sun kisses the earth
And I hush my urge to cry, cry

I wanna be there for you
Someone you can come to
Runs deeper than my bones
I wanna be there for you
I wanna be there for you

'Cause I hear the whispered words
In your masterpiece beautiful
You speak the unspeakable through
I love you too

I wanna be there for you
Someone you can come to

I wanna be there for you
And be someone you can come to
The love runs deeper than my bones
I wanna be there for you
305 hit(s) (2 comments) | What Now?  
im bored and alone
Listening to: nothing
Feeling: bubbly
i put bubbly cuz its cool to feel that way i guess im so fucking bored out of my mind i could go nuts im left ALONE again well my mom goes out and has fun well this weekend im going to try and get out as much as i can anyone want to do anything PLEASE saturday i think im going to the warehouse need something to do friday though ugh and than all nexted week i have off from school but got to work 2 days ugh about 2 more weeks till i go to the KORN AND MUDVAYNE CONCERT heck ya yo i dont know what else to say but in a month im going to FLORDIA WITH EMILY JEANOTTEEEE yes sir i em your jealous well with my mom too but who cares JK later
160 hit(s) (1 comments) | leave comment  
What a twist?
Humorless.
Senseless.
Tasteless.
humaniod.
Chronological.
Biological.
Disgusting.
Filth.
Dirt.
Face.
Mountian.
Dinosaurs.
Crippliling.
Spelling.
Hatchet.
Management.
Government.
Slimes.
Rudeness.
Hooligans.
Obscenities.
Beans.
Gracie.
Control.
Contruversies.
Mythilogical.
Symbolism.
Nameiology.
FAG MAN.
394 hit(s) (0 comments) | Twist the Knife  
bleeding
Laughing.
Laughing.
At my jokes.
Screaming.
Crying.
Inside of me.
Having
fun,
with my friends.
Streams of tears
drip down my
heart.
I smile,
when I
see
you.
You smile,
when you
see
me.
I
bleed,
when I
see
you.
You smile,
when you
see
me.
Screaming.
Crying.
Inside.
Laughing.
Smiling.
I
wave
to
you.
602 hit(s) (2 comments) | stab my back  
389
Feeling: extra-large

I've stuffed myself silly with cookies. Its quite disgusting to be perfectly honest. My lack of self control has been horrid lately.

I just checked my final grades, Ouch. I must do better next semester.

I don't even know if I want to go to school next semester. Sometimes it just seems worthless.
I'm just a fuck up sometimes I guess.

Not much else to talk about I suppose. Just a boring Christmas break.


Doesn't really feel like Christmas much.
167 hit(s) (0 comments) | touch me  
You Ah... You?
Listening to: new anberlin cd
Feeling: good

Mmmmmm...
Hanging out with Momo right now.
Good times.

Uhmmm.
Went to yes man. Awesome.

Oh. Christmas...
Yeah...
It was quite interesting this year...

More later.
98 hit(s) (0 comments) | Tell Me Lies  
TL



"Turn on, tune in, drop out."
30 hit(s) (0 comments) | --.--  
 
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