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latley
Listening to: incubas_wish you were here
Feeling: content
Wow...so much has happened since I last wrote. Isn't it strange how life goes on? Isn't it strange how before you know it the end of a period is over and another one is already half way through. Louie will be 3 years old in November, and baby Brayden will be 1 in october. I don't even know if I wrote in here what our lil man's name was going to be...but as you see it is Brayden. I learning how to live again...after mearly surviving for so long. I long for my life to become a better home...and the happyness grows as does God inside my soul as the days go on. I'm learning how to be free and to be a loving mother and wife at the same time. I want to channel my inner thoughts for all to see. I don't care if no one wants to listen and I don't care if people try to hurt me because they will never suceed because I have the lord on my side and I will use his name to move mountains. I want to cause a breakthrough. Alot of people in my life have juged me incorrectly. The believed that juzt because I am ignorant. I may not know how to spell but I can learn. I may not know much about grammer, but I can learn. They can never learn the experiences that I have had, and they can never be me. I want to help make the world a better place again...and I still have no clue how...but I'm working on it. I love incubas...their words really make me think. Their music feels like me...it feels like home. I want to open my arms up to all that I am and who I can be. Everything that I was can wash away. No one is perfict, and believe me I'm far from it...I juzt want to be as close to Jesus and God as I can be. I senceraly want to make a difference, and I don't want to be afraid anymore. With all the horrable things going on in todays life I want to revert back to the past. I want to live from the bible and not from the words of man. I put my faith in God and in my familey...never again will I trust the hands of human kind, for we are an evil creature and must curve our wicked ways. I will embrace love and happyness. I will worship my God, our Lord Jesus Christ and surrender my soul to no man. My heart belongs to James and our souls are ment to be together, but they are owned only by God. I know that I am a walking contradiction sometimes, but that's how you have to be in live to be just and to be balanced. You have to base your life from minent to minent and situation to situation. I lift my life up to you Lord, and let those who will join you and may your will be done on earth as it is in heaven...Amean.
136 hit(s) (0 comments) | Clown Luv  
> > >CHILD ABUSE!!!!!!!!!!
> > >
> > >My name is Sarah
> > >
> >
> > I am but three,
> > > My eyes are swollen
> > > I cannot see,
> > > I must be stupid
> >
> > I must be bad,
> > > What else could have made
> > > My daddy so mad?
> > > I wish I were better
> >
> > I wish I weren't ugly,
> > > Then maybe my mommy
> > > Would still want to hug me.
> > > I can't speak at all
> >
> > I can't do a wrong
> > > Or else I'm locked up
> > > All the day long.
> > > When I awake I'm all alone
> >
> > The house is dark
> > > My folks aren't home
> > > When my mommy does come
> > > I'll try and be nice,
> >
> > So maybe I'll get just
> > > One whipping tonight.
> > > Don't make a sound!
> > > I just heard a car
> >
> > My daddy is back
> > > From Charlie's Bar.
> > > I hear him curse
> > > My name he calls
> >
> > I press myself
> > > Against the wall
> > > I try and hide
> > > From his evil eyes
> >
> > I'm so afraid now
> > > I'm starting to cry
> > > He finds me weeping
> > > He shouts ugly words,
> >
> > He says its my fault
> > > That he suffers at work.
> > > He slaps me and hits me
> > > And yells at me more,
> >
> > I finally get free
> > > And I run for the door.
> > > He's already locked it
> > > And I start to bawl,
> >
> > He takes me and throws me
> > > Against the hard wall.
> > > I fall to the floor
> > > With my bones nearly broken,
> > > And my daddy continues
> > > With more bad words spoken.
> > > "I'm sorry!", I scream
> > > But its now much too late
> > > His face has been twisted
> >
> > Into unimaginable hate
> > > The hurt and the pain
> > > Again and again
> > > Oh please God, have mercy!
> >
> > Oh please let it end!
> > > And he finally stops
> > > And heads for the door,
> > > While I lay there motionless
> >
> > Sprawled on the floor
> > >
> > > My name is Sarah
> > > And I am but three,
> > > Tonight my daddy
> >
> > Murdered me.
> > >
> > > There are thousands of kids out there just like Sarah.
> > > And you can help.
> > >
> > > Sickens me to my soul, and if you just read this and
> > > don't pass it on I pray for your forgiveness, cause you
> >
> > would have to be one heartless person to not be
> > > effected by this story. And because you are effected, do
> > > something about it!! So all I am asking you to do, is take
> > > some time to send this on and acknowledge that this
> > >stuff does happen, and that people like her dad do live in our
> > >society,
> > > and I pray for child abuse to wither out and die,
> > > but also pray for the safety of our youth.
> > >
> > > Please pass this poem on because as crazy as it might
> > >sound, it might just indirectly change a life. Hey, you NEVER know.
> > >Please put this on your site if you are *~*~*AGAINST CHILD
> > >ABUSE *~*~*
> > >
253 hit(s) (0 comments) | thoughtless?  
#365 All in good time
Feeling: melancholy
Current Music: The Shock of the Lightning-Oasis



Everyone should listen to this song, glorious, amazing, breathtaking? all of those


Schoolwork has been piling, UGH!, but we're all working for the weekend, which will hopefully be spent in Kingston, drunk with some good friends having some good times


I got my feet on the street but i cant stop flyin', my heads in the cloud but atleast im tryin'

come in come out tonight

oh for all of you wondering, im no longer 17 haha thats almost 2 and a half years ago, im now

19!

love is a time machine, up on the silverscreen...


all in good time!


shit i really dont have much to say

i no longer have any real problems with anything or anyone in life? but thats a good thing, everything worked out great.


so christina

enjoi because i am off to reclaim my lost time, time to live without care!

im going in this time machine to that silver screen dream

farva
67 hit(s) (1 comments) | Revillusion  
A New Age
Feeling: nothing
Train of thought lost in endless words
This has been a fight for life
An eternal struggle for emotional freedom
A look outside the cold walls around us
Teaching us there is no other way to turn
Extacy in self pity. My life in this city is ended
Taking from it only bitter memories and scarred loss
This must begin anew. Self pity takes hold at a new time and place
Witness to a transformation. Witness to inner murder-suicide
Seeing those around me change and transform into monsters. I run
Run from self pity. Escape this ungodly city. Flee into night
The battle has just begun. From you i run. I cannot fight. I must flee
Heartless cowards busting the face of self respect
Do your favours for a packet of cigarettes comfort you?
Could you look back on it and be proud? Do you know what you are thinking?
Hang your heads in shame. You are a pathetic disgrace
A festering boil on the arsehole of humanity. But be rest assured
You will be burnt. Burnt off the face of the earth.
You will dissapear. You will cease to be known.
The truest people. Truest to themselves will survive. For others the end will come
Slow and painful. You will burn and die. Favours long forgotten
Disgraced bodies will turn rotten. Good riddance to your pathetic waste of life.
This cannot be condoned. Sitting on the throne of self immolation.
I watch as the infidels die. I alone am left unharmed. Survival
Bitter memories and scarred loss are washed away with the rest
Of this waste of space. This cancer called humanity.
I alone have acheived divinity. Surivival in the wake of garbage.
This rotten wasteland called Earth will be reborn anew.
Bask in the new age. No more need for anger or rage. Survival
Self respect will be taught to the self righteous. Self respect or death.


This is dedicated to the self righteous. The ones who think they know everything
yet know nothing. They will learn self respect and humility or be
washed away in the cess pool of armageddon.
64 hit(s) (0 comments) | say something  
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¢¾ d A Z Z L E
230 hit(s) (1 comments) | Requests:*♥  
23-Cancer
Listening to: Sublime
Feeling: sane
So...I might have cancer. Actually they are pretty sure I do.



I am so scared. I don't know what to do...

And I am suppose to be moving back to MA.

I feel like I am losing comtrol of my life.

Not that anyone will read this though. =/
310 hit(s) (1 comments) | Kiss Me  
[ 43 ] Smile
Listening to: Eleanor Rigby - Beatles
Feeling: fabulous
4 . o4 p.m.
oh, look at all the lonelyy people

where doo theyy all belong?

anywayys. so this saturdayy...
we're supposed to go to the mall.
me and holli.
to meet kaden there.
and his two friends:
nathaniel && supaflybrian.

it will be FUN
if holli can go.
she might stayy the night
on fridayy night.

which means she will get to
ride the bus home with me.
which would be uber fun!

we're probablyy not going to
actuallyy buyy anything.
just go to hang out.
shanti was like "who goes to the mall
to hang out? you do."
i lol`d. hehe.
i love that bxtch.

holli = myy wife.

dont be jealous.
i am colddd.
]:
stupid snow.
but at least myy
room is clean. [:

haha im so sillyy~~!

alright well i'm going to
go find something more
productive to do, i suppose.
hahaha.
me. productive.
i can be so funnyy sometimes!

bye.
73 hit(s) (2 comments) | CLiCKiTYCLiCK~!1!!  
 
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