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ATTENTION CITIZENS!!!
Listening to: Eeeeek!!!!
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~-=Quote Of The Day=-~
"It is not enough to succeed. Others must fail."
--Gore Vidal (1925 - )

265 hit(s) (20 comments) | sit on my face  
I wanna be in another place....
Listening to: Place for my Head by Linkin Park
Feeling: blank
Another day begins, 2:15 AM...That's what my clock says...*sigh* Yet another expression from my useless morbid mind! ^_^ I miss Inuyasha being on...It helped me relieve some pain. I know it sounds stupid, but it's a form of therapy, as is my writing. I wanna be in the energy, laugh at the enemy, a place for my head... My mom tells me all kinds of crap...She expects me to be just like her, and when I'm not...She yells at me, telling me I'm a weight dragging her down... sick of the tension, sick of the hunger...That's a way to consider your kids, eh? But I'm used to it. To her, my heart has grown used to the pain, for you see, I can't be numb. I care to much to go numb... a place for my head... I'm used to pain. That's why I distance myself from most people, especially in romanitc situations. Maybe that's why I make a horrible girlfriend? *laughs* Oh well, hormones just make you crazy. I would know. I hate when you say you don't understand... Well, enough rambling. Later today Brittany shall be here, and we shall have retarded laughter involving Mountain Dew. So I'll write another entry later, much happier I hope.
Love to all, It's illogical, It's impossible, It's against my religion.
Sango who laughs at the enemy.

Sick of you acting like I owe you this...A Place for my head...
151 hit(s) (3 comments) | paint out the sky  
Roxie...Heart! ^.~
Listening to: Sounds of Chicago Music replaying in my head
Feeling: awesome
Not a bad dance!

Ok, today was just so great that it's weird it wasn't too good to be true. So simple, but yet sooooo much fun. I woke up, got ready, and went to Momma's first. We had dinner and cake and I opened some presents. They were cute. ^.^ Next I came home and Jess got to come over. We played Soul Calibur 2 for about 3 hours and when we were 25-25 even, we decided to quit Versus Mode. (It's a fighting game kinda like Tekken and we are both VERY competitive, hahaha). Then Trish was able to come over around five. We showed her a little of the game, then we did her homework. We all ate tacos & fortune cookies for supper outside on a blanket on my porch. Then we all went up to my room, lit some candles, sang some songs, and goofed off for the rest of the night. They went home about an hour and a half ago.

What's better? That get together is just a mini version of what this Friday will be like, where (almost) ALL of my friends can spend the whole night!

And after that is SPRING BREAK! YEAH!!

Wow I am so happy right now, if something depresses me this week I'm gonna be pissed at it. Cuz I'm really happy and it feels GOOD! =)

Girl on Cloud Nine
138 hit(s) (2 comments) | Walking on Water..  
Happy Birthday baby girl!
Listening to: Dreaming of you
Feeling: empty
Today is Courtlyn's 7th birthday! Last night sucked so bad! I was drinking and I really wish I didn't remember what I did! But unfortunately I remember it all! Oh so nobody thinks I'm this aweful person. I had my baby on September 19, 2005 then last Thursday got the chicken pox so on Saturday when they really started to show I went to the hospital... they told me I had to get away from the baby and today's my first day back home. But yea.. last night was just really bad!
Love,
Jessica
65 hit(s) (0 comments) | Pumpkins!  
depressing night.
nothing online is working for me right now.
so im back to using this for tonight.

what a day.
fuck

looking at people's stadium painting pics... makes me want to cry. and i probably will because im lame...
i just hate that i got ditched and was too fucking pathetic to go on my own.
damn i waited all my highschool years for that.

i got my hair cut for my senior yearbook pic.
then i tried having a girl fix a LITTLE problem a ihad... and it turned into a MESS.

whats more pathetic is that my mom buying my material items makes me happy and not cry over stupid things momentarily.

but on a good note i passed a test and got the highest score in the class... and i didnt even use the cheat cards that she allowed.

go me.



82 hit(s) (1 comments) | sing me a song  
I can't think of a good title
But its been a long time since I've been in here... not much has changed since anyways... what, I'm on skool break right now and got a few months until I finish college and then go - wait, possibly go - to Uni.

What I'm thinking right now is what I really just want to vent in here, but as always I feel it silly to do so, because although it feels significant to talk about right now, tomorrow or possibly later (doubt it) I will not be thinking so negatively in relation to what I'm feeling right now.

So whats the deal? Well; love and who will be the one that I live a life of love with if at all. You see, I still have the theory that I won't ever have love simply because of the life that I will lead - nothing bad, in all honesty... something across the lines of my career (motor racing) and who I am in general.

To put it simply really so to end this nonsense, I as in right now can't stop thinking whether I will ever find love... hopefully with a certain someone, who knows... probably someone new that I've never met before, or will my life turn out the way I felt it would just the few years ago...

Who knows? Someone does and I felt he already told me.
291 hit(s) (1 comments) | Come on in  
Lonely Man
I hate being Jealous. I hate myself for feeling that way. Nobody ever asks me if I want to go do things. Nobody ever does- not unless there is an ulterier motive. I am jealous of how easily Jessica and Jordan make friends, while I struggle with it constantly. I struggle with how they never seem lonely. Some nights, I feel so alone, I cry myself to sleep. I hate being jealous of Mike and Nate, and of Marga. I don't want to be. But I want to be their friend too, to associate with them. They have other friends. All I have right now is Jessica. I hate that, too. I hate needing her, feeling like a clingy desperate friend. It isn't her fault. I am just so lonely, and she is the only one around, and I need her company. Because without it, I am friendless. I spend monday through saturday, eager for the phone and internet, because outside of my family, it is the only companionship I get. And I hate myself for that, too.

I'm scared of losing her, feeling inadequate against the backdrop of all her fun new college friends. Me, a girl whose heart and mind are still in high school, who is more reserved, and less crazy. I am terrified that she will get bored with me, or decide that she doesn't have time for me anymore.

And I would understand it if she did. All I have to offer her is Remus Lupin, and I don't even like doing that.

How can a fictional character stand up against reality?
67 hit(s) (0 comments) | +Rick's Cafe+  
The Only Question I thought was hard was do I like Kirk or d
Listening to: "White and Nerdy" - Weird Al
Feeling: alone
Ever just want to tell someone to fuck off? To shove their self-indulgent bullshit so far up their ass that you hope the butt fuck will give them AIDs?

Yeah, welcome to the way I'm feeling right now?
91 hit(s) (0 comments) | Spread your wings  
God had disowned Lilith the day she became a vampire. She really could care less, she never really liked him in the beginning. The only thing she cared about was Damion;her beloved boyfriend of many many years. How would he react to all of this, no one really believed in vampire, gouls, witches, zombies, or fairies. All of those mystical beings were real besides fairies; which is real but not as a magical person with wings and a wand. He would think she became loony and might just put her where the loonies go.She had kept it a secret from him for about a weeksince the incident occurred and tonight she was going to try and tell him the truth and hope for the best.
56 hit(s) (1 comments) | leave comment  
*29* this is my last entry
Feeling: better
Hannah's born!!!!!! That's all I have to say.


JESSICA LYNN
65 hit(s) (0 comments) | Eat the weak  
Love tastes like caviar
Listening to: Moskau, Moskau - Dschinghis Khan
Feeling: lethargic
Oh how times change... The trees leaves become colorful and eventually drift away, bringing winter with it... Change... is inevitable...

Kyle's a father to be... Which I've found myself frowning upon... I've recently heard that his fiance Mary is now two months pregnant... Of course... His friend and best man (aka Me) didn’t even learn about it till everyone else had decided to share it with me... The wedding of which, I'm supposedly the best man, is apparently dated on March 11th... I still wonder, how I'll be involved... I don't see myself doing many of the tasks a best man is appointed... When I'm in Southern Illinois and he's in Northern Indiana... If I know Kyle, and I do, he has a big plan... I just don't know about it... And I'm starting to wonder if I ever will... As for him being a father... Stupid... I can't believe the sheer stupidity of his actions... Getting her pregnant before he marries her? What is he thinking? Not much obviously... I may be his friend... But I very much disapprove of such a thing... I can't believe he's bringing a child into the world now, he should have at least waited until he was married... Then again... Kyle isn't one to think things through...... What's done is done... And that's the end of that...

I'm currently seeking employment... I've applied for a job at "Billy Boys", a restaurant in town, where my close friends Kevin and Scott already work... They should vouch for me... Maybe I can get a dishwasher job... I should hear from them tomorrow... Though, if I work on weekends, it would probably devastate my usual D&D at Evansville... *sigh*

I've been playing paintball with some friends lately. Its a fun game... I thought it would really hurt when you get shot... It doesn't really...I'm just glad I have a hobby now that involves moving around...

I've come across a little comic called Ozy and Millie, Fuzzy characters, Politics, and John Lennon references? I like it!

http://www.ozyandmillie.org/

And with that, I’m gone... For now anyway...

Peace and Love…
-Adolfo-

All we are saying is give peace a chance - John Lennon & Paul McCartney
158 hit(s) (5 comments) | Speak!  
10 yay
Feeling: adored
It's a girl! WOOT!
46 hit(s) (1 comments) | eat you alive  
I'm done
Well see yaz I quit this diary cuz it's only gotten me in trouble. Buh bye sitdiary.
105 hit(s) (0 comments) | Still Your Girl  
 
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