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[708]Identity
This sounds completely ridiculous, but the only time I was ever fully comfortable with myself was when I had the opportunity to change my appearance. It used to be that each time I felt depressed, I'd chop all of my hair off, dye it some off the wall shade, and dump my current boyfriend. I can't explain it, but changing the path I was on in life always felt so enlightening. I got closest to myself when I distanced myself from others.

Unfortunately, at some point in the past three years, I let some unfamiliar force take control of my life. This unfamiliar force is what I believe to be a metamorphasis. I am reaching a new chapter in my life, and I am forced to let go of the old. I cannot stay the same forever ... that very thought is unsettling.

I wonder if the transition from adolescence to adulthood will feel like the time I felt my childhood slip through my fingertips. I remember the day my youthful energy diminished and my soul was no longer as carefree as a child's. I am losing my identity. Adulthood carries with it so many demands, yet so few rewards.
1166 hit(s) (5 comments) | What of my soul?  
Confession Corner
Listening to: The New Sound. The Capricorns
Feeling: jazzed
I don't understand this. It's so stupid but I feel so bad. I broke up with this kid- he was cool but I didn't feel the same about him as I had before. That and I started liking some else and I'm not a complete skank so I couldn't lead him on like that. [He doesn't know that part though. I couldn't tell him that yet.] He stopped talking to me and I try to be his friend but I don't know what it is. I thought he liked my other friend and I was cool with it but yesterday he put up an away message about feeling depressed and when I asked about it- he lied to me. Now lying is not cool in my book. It hurt more than I expected it would and it wasn't even that big of a lie. I told him it was okay and that it didn't matter but somewhere inside it's still bugging me.

All my friends abandoned me on this extended weekend. Only one thought about me enough to ask me if I wanted to do something and we don't even go to school together anymore. At least someone cares.

I'm a lucky person and I'm whining about the bad part of my life. Wallowing in self pity- not very becoming is it?
The good parts? Well, I got a birthday present. [Fall Out Boy CD] I made a high pass on my World History SOL which means I aced the class and I never have to deal with it again.
I can't think of anything else. What is wrong with me? I should be happy or at least okay but somethings wrong with this picture...
58 hit(s) (0 comments) | .imprint.  
 
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