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TK's Soapbox - Hot Coffee?	July 15th, 2005 @ 12:00am
by tsukasa
This rant has been rated For possibly extreme views, intense bashing of stupidity, the powers that be, certain reactionary politicians *coughliebermancough*, and a hefty dose of common sense. --- --- UPDATE!!: GTA:SA has officially recieved those letters that no game wants to ever see.. AO Lets think about what this means. Look at the mpaa's rating system for movies: G PG PG13 R NC17 X And the ESA's system: EC E T M AO Note that one is missing, there. G = EC, because if its G rated nowadays, it HAS to be for little kids. E = PG , standard kids movies are always PG T = PG13, obvious M = R, Both restricted to 17+, again obvious. AO = NC17 OR X So we've taken a game that has content i could go find in an r rated movie (Go rent robocop 1) And given it a rating equivalent to a porn movie. The excrement has hit the air movement device at a high rate of speed. Watch your step... _____ As with most rants, you need to go to a site first and read an article. Today's winner is The Register Now then. Having played through GTA:SA and still having resisted the urge to go and kill some police officers (HAH! They say it cant be done!) - I hear of this mod that, well.. maybe this pic would explain better. Warning - probably not safe for work, but then again why are you reading this at work? So the whole damn country is in uproar about a sexual minigame, in a game with more words on it's litle M sticker than most others. Only in america folks. Lets take this apart, bit by bit, hm? 1. The ESRB is downright pissed about this and is now fully investigating Rock* and Take 2 Interactive for it. 2. If this doesnt turn out in the good guy's favor, the game could be reclassified as AO, basically the same as an X-rated movie, meaning you must be 18 to get a copy. 3. Every reactionary politician has come out of the woodwork and offered their two cents, saying (in one particularly nasty bit) that such games are "Stealing the innocence of our children" (That quote comes from my old arch nemesis, Joseph Lieberman - lost the web address, but google it mk?) Wuzzat? Ok, if i'm a 30-40 something parent and my 10-15 something kid asks me if they can buy GTA, i'd probably tell them no, without even having to look at the ESRB tag. Why? As a reasonable person, i'd expect a game with a title referring to crime, reviews saying this is a game about killing, gangs, pimps, hoes, and other totally illegal and illicit things, that there would be a bit of real "Hot coffee", if you know what i mean. Before we go into the absurdity of re-rating this game as AO, if you have GTA:SA on your machine, please go download this mod and play the aforementioned minigame, and come back. I'll wait. .. you back? Ok. Did you think that having "sex" (and i use the term loosely) fully clothed, in a badly drawn and somewhat blocky setting, really deserves the same rating as a hardcore XXX porno flick? I'll guess right here that the answer was no. And yet thats what could happen to one of the greatest games ever. It could be pulled from store shelves, relegated to behind the counter, no advertisements, nothing. Rock* spent an arseload of money on this game, having the carpet yanked out from under them by a bunch of politicians could spell disaster for them, NOT TO MENTION Take 2!! For reference, in case you're reading this for the first time, TK's Axiom of Offense goes as follows: If you are offended by something, do not view it, do not let your children view it, but leave the rest of the free world to make their own decision. Unfortunately, as we all know, exposure to Capitol Hill has been known to temporarily shut down brain cells. The law as seen by non-gamers is: If you are offended by something, do not view it, do not let anyone else in the world view it. Free speech only applies to things i deem permissible. *sigh* If a rather cruddy mini game on the computer is going to entice you to go out, shoot cops, jack cars, join a gang, have illicit sex.. you have something wrong with you. The men in little white coats have been dispatched to your address and will arrive shortly with a nice warm straight jacket. No but seriously. The game isnt that good. Thats PROBABLY WHY ITS DISABLED IN THE FIRST PLACE!!! ~Tsukasa "Common sense, folks." Karuna
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