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I see you |
December 2nd, 2008 @ 10:57am |
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still here...
a touch of reality sometimes does the trick...
an ODE to the zeros...
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i have tickets to see the pumpkins tomorrow night...
cheers... |
| 49 hit(s) |
(1 comments) |
redemption
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time keeps flying by |
October 17th, 2007 @ 12:00am |
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at school...
its 07 now...
life has equated to work, school, wow...
single...
no time for anything...
including friends really...
socially interactions limited to MMORPGs... |
| 93 hit(s) |
(0 comments) |
redemption
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kicked it |
July 11th, 2007 @ 12:00am |
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went to shannans and kicked it tonight...
felt great holding her and layin on the couch...
flirted a bit and that was awesome...
i see love in her eyes and it makes me feel complete...
im waiting babe...
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| 22 hit(s) |
(0 comments) |
redemption
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sigh |
July 10th, 2007 @ 12:00am |
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thought this site was gone for good...
been in love with shannan and shes been going
through some very rough times...
i pray that we can find each other again...
i pray that she finds herself...
she has taught me how to truly love and ive been trying to change a few things about myself...
life is a fucked up thing and maybe when my days come to an end i can leave this earth knowing i did a few things right...
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| 23 hit(s) |
(0 comments) |
redemption
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yearz go by |
December 12th, 2006 @ 12:00am |
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sometimes i feel as if i need to defrag my mind...
the clusters that have been lost are starting to get in the way of any new information i try to prosess at any given moment...
maybe i could wipe the hard drive clean and start anew...
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for the first time in my life i think i have come to the conclusion that if i could go back and hit the restart button i would...
ive never said that before...
maybe im only now allowing myself to realize what i have always known...
one chance to start all over...
id know id only have to change a few things in order to be in a different place...
who knows...
maybe id be right back here... |
| 40 hit(s) |
(0 comments) |
redemption
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inspired by an equal |
December 9th, 2006 @ 12:00am |
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so i wasnt going to write anything but when i jumped on to see if someone was working on the site i noticed that an individual had posted something on relationships...
bravo pelatos or whatever your name was...
i fealt as if that note was written by me from a female perspective...
thats been the story of my life...
ill want you until you want me or i get some then that feeling i had is gone like it was never there...
dont ask me how or why...
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| 38 hit(s) |
(0 comments) |
redemption
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leg hurts |
October 17th, 2006 @ 12:00am |
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so this shit with tony and G is bothersome...
i always knew something would go down and finally rip what was already tearing the fabric which was the Sweet Daddy's crew...
i think worse than accepting that reality is knowing where i truly stand on it...
and if either of them ask me flat out...
well they will get my 411 on that note...
and i could give two shits about what people think because im the mother fuckin mac daddy...
w00t!!!
go WoW on a side note... |
| 48 hit(s) |
(0 comments) |
redemption
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blame |
October 3rd, 2006 @ 12:00am |
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its 3am and i think im getting sick...
i blame john...
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my back hurts...
i blame this chair...
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WoW is doing maintenance...
i blame blizzard for keeping me up...
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i dont want to get sick...
i blame you... |
| 57 hit(s) |
(1 comments) |
redemption
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finding myself in another |
September 23rd, 2006 @ 12:00am |
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so bee went to arizona to visit a dying grandmother...
while on her way we relayed text after text in a continuance of our last conversation at work...
this girl blows my mind because i see so much of myself in her...
the jaded portions of my mind are hers as well...
we have both been through some horrible relationships and we are now in the process of using each other for healing...
this was never even in the realm of possibilities when we first met and hooked up...
this girl i want but i cant have and it is the same for her as well...
looks aside, and she is a looker, hell she is trying out for the san diego chargers cheer squad, she has more depth than i know what to do with...
and not the depth that has a metric ton of baggage attached either, this girl just has ten thousand levels to her...
she has allowed me to open up and begin to admit things openely that i have not wanted to let forth for anyone...
it all just fell into place like it was nothing...
my general annoyance is gone and i find myself wanting to just sit and talk with her more and more...
the text messages at eight in the morning bring a smile to my face as do the ones right before bed...
it has also occured to me that i am ninety nine percent sure that she or i will end up in the end with someone else by our side but thats ok now...
strange as it is for me to process this situation like that...
she doesnt deserve what she has had in the past nor should she continue to find guys like she has had...
i hope more than anything we both can walk away from this and be not only better people but were able to have at least that one person to count on emotionally without that attachment...
we both need it... |
| 50 hit(s) |
(0 comments) |
redemption
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3 years ago |
September 21st, 2006 @ 12:00am |
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so in seven days this journal will be exactly three years old...
which is pretty wierd considering everything...
i cant say that it details the last three years but i can say that it at least sheds some lite into certain areas of my life...
i always have had problems figuring out when exactly something has happened and giving a time period has always sucked...
this has allowed me to three years to to check up on...
for instance...
it has been two years sence i moved back to southern cali...
sigh...
went by pretty damn fast and i knida miss bloomington...
a lot...
on another note i think that everyone i know that knows about this page has completely forgotten about it...
word yo...
i kinda like that... |
| 59 hit(s) |
(0 comments) |
redemption
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