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ophelia

Age: 19

Sex: girl

	June 22, 2008
breathe! xx
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i am still alive	March 6, 2008
i just live here now www.sitdiary.net/papermaker
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no more	January 25, 2008
Listening to: reality bites - Am i a bad person? please read this and tell me. I have come to the point where i am through with so many things in my life, home, certain people, circumstances. That i have ceased to be the nice and caring person i once was. I don't bother with presents, with shows of emotion. What is the point if i can only get empty. People forgot my birthday 2 years in a row and i am expected to show up to theirs with a smile and hope. I don't think i can live here for a while. It seems like the only person i would miss is my cat. At some time or another everyone has let me down. Or let someone who hurt me move in with them and stopped talking to me. Or spread lies about me. Or assaulted me. I am looking at a couple places. Not forever. But even a 3 week break will help me decide on what to do. 1. New york. The only downside i can see from this is that i am 18 the legal age for everything in Australia, yet not much at all in U.S. Forgive me if i am wrong, but to my understanding i can't go out into social venues/drink/have fun etc? . Now by saying this i am by no means a party animal i just wish to see certain people who perform there a lot. Oh and don't get me started on the 'health care' system. Oy 2. Quebec I have spent some time learning french canadian and getting quite good at it. I want to be immersed in a culture that is totally opposite to where i am now. So this is looking like an amazing option. As i understand it 18 is the legal age of majority there too. I think some downsides are that some places can be more conservative which is not where i want to be at all. 3. Back to Vancouver. I have family there, love the city and everything around it. If i feel too overcrowded its a short trip to Victoria on Vancouver island. I think the age of majority is 19 there though. It is a good option, although i don't want to impose too much on family members at all. So hey help me choose what i should do next. its like a choose yr adventure book or something. xo by the way, i will slowly shut this journal down new journal = papermaker
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Cabbage	January 22, 2008
I think i am probably sick. I can't function like i used to and i can't even remember how to cook well. Like tonight i tried to make split pea soup and put too much of everything in with the wrong ingredients. I keep telling my parents i need to talk to someone and they don;t believe me.
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Slide	January 18, 2008
Listening to: cherry blossom girl - this is for you! ok so the house is being renovated and its hectic. Planks everywhere and ladders. i feel like i am on a pirate ship. Its really cool for this time of year and theres flooding not far from me. sucks. Last year was pretty depressing, so i hope this year is better. Went through a bad period of being controlled by someone and i got out of it. I am hoping to do courses with vulcana. A all female acrobatic trapeze troup. I remember getting into trouble as a kid at school cause i would climb the highest tree and swing from it. I just love flying. My birthday in march will be off the hook. Dirtbombs on the 5th, tiger army the 8th and then my party at the alibi room. which will be awesome you guys. http://www.thealibiroom.com/ I am tired, i havent slept for 24 hours because im trying to get a normal pattern. Like my sleeping pattern is 3 pm to midnight. horrible. still battling depression. more people know, about it all. its a good thing. I am so thankful for my friends. Lauryn in particular. i had a falling out with someone last year and its all good again. yesss. i am learning french canadian and hopefully living there again someday. I want to so badly. ]im about to fall asleep so over and out
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	January 16, 2008
holla hollah new year
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new journal	October 24, 2007
papermaker please add me oxox
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	August 5, 2007
i went to greazefest and it was a lot of fun. i like meeting new nice people. so tired and sunburned now. on the last day i was falling asleep on the hill in the shade. so good.
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	July 21, 2007
it hit me last night that you dont want to see me anymore and i stayed up all night crying. i miss you.
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