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July 16, 2008 |
relationships are difficult,
and i feel lost now that i've ended mine.
i have nowhere to sort my thoughts,
i have to resort to this.
it doesn't matter anyway.
i think i've made a mistake. |
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July 11, 2008 |
i left, and i'm here.
i lost my computer for a month; getting it back was bittersweet.
life seems to be a bit more interesting when it isn't hazed by electronics. maybe not more interesting, but less interesting. i think in this case they're one in the same.
i have too much time to think about everything, but i can't manage to think about anything.
it's a slow process, but i think i'll get there.
i don't really have any other choice. |
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| i'm leaving soon |
June 1, 2008 |
and it's a little nerve wracking.
not that i'm not excited, i really am. it's one of the best things i could do with myself right now.
but my life just feels like a blur, i feel like i'm stuck in the middle of so much that i can't find my way out of.
maybe i need this more than i think i do.
i think all i've ever needed is just to get away.
so i'm going,
but i'll still be here. |
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May 16, 2008 |
people are just all kinds of ridiculous.
frustrating beyond belief.
i'd give up on people again, if i hadn't done it already. |
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May 7, 2008 |
i have the tendency to continually return to the things i once loved. they're so comforting, and i don't want to let go.
it doesn't inhibit my life,
it just sits in the back of my mind,
and creeps its way forward every now and then.
i should be happy with what i have now.
why aren't i?
why am i always left with the desire for more?
why does the past seem much better in the past?
when it's in the present, it's so undesirable.
i thought i was making a lot of progress,
but i just feel like a mess again.
what's wrong with me?
&ps: b, where are you? |
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April 22, 2008 |
i'm overwhelmed.
there are too many thoughts in my brain at one time, it can't hold them all.
i wish i could put them somewhere, but everywhere is too concrete.
i can't put them here, my brain needs to learn how to organize.
organize and forget.
and let go.
&& the western sea will do me good.
&& time needs to start fleeting faster. |
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April 10, 2008 |
Feeling: relieved
here comes the sun,
here comes the sun,
and i say it's alright. |
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March 27, 2008 |
meet me any place, some place,
your favorite place, wherever that place is.
pick any time, just show up.
i'll guess it and maybe i'll see you,
and maybe i won't. who knows? i don't.
just go there, eventually i'm sure i'll find you. after all, there are only so many places.
this sphere is too small, too few places to go. i know that i'm supposed to find you anyway. and i will, eventually.
place is one of those words that after looking at it for so long, it isn't real anymore. i think that's how i am. after looking at me for so long i cease to exist. |
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| i was swimming in the carribean |
March 27, 2008 |
i'm trying to stop trying.
i'm done with doing things in an attempt to impress people.
i'm coming to terms with the fact that i'm just not an impressive person, i'm just not.
so now i'm doing things simply because i like them, no matter how badly i may do them.
it's bound to be better than what i've been doing.
people just aren't really worth it anyway.
all offense. |
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March 22, 2008 |
i'm so tired of everything.
i just feel like my life is so exhausted.
i'd really like to go to california,
and i wish i had the guts to just go.
but so much of me just can't.
but, i really need to.
i can't handle this place anymore,
i need a fresh feeling.
i don't think i'll get it anywhere other than there.
i owe it to myself, i really do.
so does everyone else. |
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