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my home |
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when i was in first grade i live at boulder at guest in the only 2 story house on the corner of 75th and county line road now carrol road i remember alot and i blocked alot i remeber meatingfirst friend marc van fossin i got in trouble the first time i met him because i saw him and eric lawler my first enemy in is swing set about 300 feet way and i went over ther and played and when i came back a was yelled at BC i disappeared. if we three were put on scale i was white eric was a gray that was almost black and marc was a gray a hairs breath on the dark end i never stole picked fights and was a good kick eric on the other hand lied stole and picked fights and marc was which ever one he was with eric lead marc marc lead me and i challeged eric and went i say lead i me we did want the leader wanted to do with input from the follower. the leader wanted to play a vidoe game the follower picked out which ones he was willing to play that was our triangle there were other kids in the nieghborhood the berry we called him berry berry kix like the ceral and greg and his bother and david sole and his sister and the neighborhood bully david goss and a few other kid i bearly knew |
| 14 hit(s) |
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my first few years |
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when my 9 year old sister was babysiting me while my mother was inside that house when i was one one and a half i disapeared for about 3 hours i crawled down the street about a block or two with my sisters friends litle brother he was my age and we crawled to a sandbox and that is were we were found. when i was 2 1/2 we moved to chesterfield IN and my litle sister was born a few weeks later in anderson IN there and then moved some time later to indianapolis IN and 2 and 1/2 years from when my sister was born my litle brother came 2 days before my 5th birthday my brother was born that was my first memory my mother going to the hopital and we the kids going to grandma and grandpa's house. when i was three i nearly and i mean nearly cut off both my thumbs it started BC my mom cut an apple up for me and went to say good my to some house guess and i finish my apple and wanted another one to i got a chair and climb up grabed the apple and the knife and tryed to cut the knife adn i held the apple in one hand and the kife in the other and i put the kife on the apple and pushed down i cut my thumb i though owch that hurt realy badly but i wanted that apple so i switched hand and held the knife with my cut hand and held the apple withteh good one and the same thing happen and then both my hands were hurting and i went to get my mom and to tell her i couldnt cut an apple by my self and we she saw me she screamed when she saw my hands covered in my blood dripping blood adn i dont remember after that but i do remeber the 3weeks after that with big ass banadges wrap around my thumbs siting on the couch doing the only thing i could at that point sitting there giving 2 big thumbs up with a pouting lip my mothert said that i down to bone on one hand and the other one i cut done to it and half way around it. at one point when i was about 5 give or take a year i pushed my litle sister down the stairs but i dont me shoved her down like you think i got a laudry basket and grabed her and said i got an idea ok come here i took the laudry basket and pushed it down the stairs and then i said i am going to put you in that and if you lean back it wont tip over and i asked her is she wanted to try it and she said yea so i got the laudry basket and but her in it and pushed her down it and thats all i remember i was told that she was halfway down the stairs when the laudry basket fliped over and my parents heard thump thump thump and they rushed over to see my sister hit the floor and my mother rushed over to her and my farther rushed up the stairs to me one of they told the other to not hurt me and when they asked me what happen after i had my ass beaten so bad i cant remember it i told then and i said she would not have flipped over with she would have leaned back like i said my mother was crying and my sister was taken to the er and they said she was fine and my mother didnt belive them but they said that at her age her bones were still fexible and she was fine and the only reason she was crying was be cuase my mother was crying and that made her cry. in kindergarden i was playing with my best friend down sergeant's row with a boomerang adn my 3rd grade neighbor came by and mike i think his name and i were was throwing it trying to make it come back and the third grader i think his name was david brown i just guessing he was black and he was my 2nd best friend any way he took the boomerang and threw it once and it came back and headed right for us and one of them said duck and i laid flat on the ground and the damn thing hit my square it the chin we ran ion to mikes house i was crying and his mom poured alchhole on it gave me a hand full of tissuepaper and said hold this on your chin and dont let go and whe walked me to my mom and told her what happen and she told me to show her the gash on my face and i remember that it hurt to take off the blood soak tissuse paper that she pull my hand away and she and my dad took me to the military ER on the base we waited for a while when the docter took a look he said i needed stiches and i didnt know what that meant at first both they numbed my chin and then they took out the needle and then i knew I KNEW they were going to stab me over and overwith that thing like geting a shot over and over i freaked out i was fighting am kicking so bad that it took 3 MPs to hold me down while 2 wraped me in a bedsheet and then the 5 MPs held my body down while my parents held my head in place to the docter could stiches a 6 year olds chin with a 1 inch gash. i remmebr seeing his hand with the neddle going up and and down up and down i was in terror but thats all i remember. when i was starting first grade we moved to a house in boulders at geist and in this house my life changed |
| 5 hit(s) |
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my birth |
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i was born in alabama the only one in all my family on any side to be born south of anderson IN my morther was a stripper and my father was a tanker in the army they met while my mother was working the bar and my father put a straw he was chewing on in an ashtray amd my mother said you know what pisses me off adn he said not as if i care but what she said ppl that but there god damn straws in the ashtrays then she picked it up dumped it and slamed it down on the bar adn that one encounter started the events that lead me here my mother and father dated for 6 week or 6 month i am not sure then they got marry and move to fort rucker AL from lacross WI and about 8 months later i was born i dont know much of my frist few years but only know what i was told and i was told my on febuary 8th 1987 my morther water broke and my father would not get out of bed and after 2 hours of hey wake up and him saying i am up and falling back down my grandma said get up now or we are leaving without you and he got up adn i was born was through a C-section because i fliped around so many times the docter said screw it gave up and cut her open and ripped me out and sewed her back up and that was my birth |
| 9 hit(s) |
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who i am |
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how those who dont know me i your you my soul i am the secound of 4 the oldest boy and i am at war with my self i have seen pain and i have felt heartache and this is my story |
| 7 hit(s) |
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one more thing |
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other than i almost search for the word sex by actident about 15 secs ago(going for sit lol) i have a lip pearing i got all last febuary thayt my gf got me:) |
| 22 hit(s) |
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las vegas |
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hi yall i moved again to vegas i got a girl in fl whom i love very much so thats all the new c ya later perfect |
| 14 hit(s) |
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goodbye |
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i wave to the boy
i wisper "good bye"
he said 'take this toy
it was a favorite of mine'
i reply "no it cant go with me
it is not allowed to be"
he cried 'why not
i dont want to be forgot'
"nor shall you i say
i will see you every day"
he said 'no i will fade away
with every step laid'
"i must go there is no choice"
'yes there is we have a voice'
"no WE dont YOU do I dont"
'you dont or you wont'
'we can fight it'
"but fight what, fight with whom?"
'the world, me and you'
"we cant. just forget it"
"i must go now
i love you good bye"
i turned to leave
the lil boy cried
'i hate you'
i looked back to the mirroir
and said "so do i"
i wave the crying boy good bye |
| 84 hit(s) |
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to my angel i walk to find you |
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hear me now
see me now
watch as i walk
without fear
and with only hope
for this is the road on which i can't turn back this road is my life
if we ever do meet over the crossroads of our lives i will be there with open hands and wings on my back
when we part fear life not for god walks with you since your start he walks behind you to catch you when you fall because he who is horned tries to push you back
while you my walk onward down life toward your joyfull rest remember me for i have left you not i have ran on ahead to fight him back so you may be unafraid for he is at bay
rest well
earthly angel for your earth angel is near |
| 82 hit(s) |
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