| i love him |
August 13th, 2008 @ 3:52pm |
that says it all.
I miss you!
I love you!
and..
I want you home with me! |
| 31 hit(s) |
(1 comments) |
embrace my lips
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| 2008 |
August 13th, 2008 @ 3:52pm |
well its now 2008 the year i graduate.
pretty sure if my year is like what last night was like then my year is going to suck
i got home and just went to bed.
chelsey probably just hung out with her brother the rest of the night. gosh i felt bad. |
| 62 hit(s) |
(0 comments) |
embrace my lips
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| okay douchetard |
August 13th, 2008 @ 3:52pm |
so yesterday was fun.. went to st cloud again.. ate at space aliens then went to hitman which is ultimately a pretty good movie.. im super tired cuz dad made me get up and do the effing papers on the one day that i was to be able to partially sleep in..
oh well..
eric is so cute.. he's umm well not reading the harry potter book but is.. yyou have to be me or him to understand what im saying.. just a little cutie.. my little cutie.. im gonna die when he leaves.. actually i think ill be ok as long as he comes back fast.. hopefully time will fly.. it will give me time though to do things for schools and with friends and then ill have time to do scholarships.. and then when he gets back i graduate and then after that its summer time and were gonna go every where do everything and see everything! im excited for the best summer.. and if things dont work out.. then who knows.. times passing and we'll just have to see what life brings.. right now i want things to go really slow and when france comes along thats another time where i want things to go really really slow..
au revoir.
and f-u last reader.. your a douche tard.. but if you dont read this then good because you said you wouldn't.. obviously you dont know how to rant. |
| 62 hit(s) |
(0 comments) |
embrace my lips
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| play |
August 13th, 2008 @ 3:52pm |
last night stunk butt eric seemed mad at me.. anytime i think he's mad i fear it all and get so scared.. like he was quiet.. i just get so lost and confused.. and then mom and dad made it worse by making us go to applebees.. uh
i hope i do good for him tonight i hope he likes the play i hope he doesnt get to bored... uh my boy i just want a kiss from him...
and he hasn't said i love you |
| 66 hit(s) |
(0 comments) |
embrace my lips
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| marines |
August 13th, 2008 @ 3:52pm |
so ive been ok.. im sick of being busy though its getting to be way to much..
eric has now signed up for the marines.. it makes me sad that ill have to live without him and im afriad of it too because ill have summer and starting of college without him which makes me fear if ill lose him or something.. i really dont want to lose him again.. right now has been amazing like him and i uh its glorious.. like were perfect.. we go do things and enjoy each other and he seems so much more happy then he was before like this summer.. it makes me happy to think he is happy with me.. i just hope that he is then.. as sad as i might be that he is doing the marines i also need to realize that its what he really really wants to do.. and if thats what he wants to do then there is no stopping him. if there is one thing to know about him its that you cant stop him from what he wants to do..
i love eric with all of my heart.. he really is my man.. and he is absolutely adorable.. all mine. mine mine mine.!
i havent told mom and dad.. i dont want to and i dont know if i will anytime soon.. probably not as i dont want them telling me what to do.. i think they like love him right now too so i want to leave it to be.. i think mom must have been talking real good of him to erica to cuz a while ago when i was with eric ans was texting her she said something about mom and dad loving him mroe then her and it made me laugh.. it was funny.. thats my boy.. it proves how well things are.. even if he will leave me..
although when he is gone.. he misses me graduating.. he'll be just making our 2 year anniversary and prom.. i just wish it wasnt the summer time that he would be gone.. im gonna go crazy having him not there..
destiny will take its path? |
| 66 hit(s) |
(0 comments) |
embrace my lips
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| oh my fuckin god |
August 13th, 2008 @ 3:52pm |
for once im happy last night he texted me..
im pretty sure its all getting better from here..
im a giddy school girl again and i cant wait any longer for tonight oh my goodness oh my goodness!!!
uh my sweet love
it will be weird but uh yea. i just hope things dont end up going to fast.. i want things slow.. uh
ee!! but i want to holdhim so bad im so excited!!!!!!!!!!1
pure bliss!!!! |
| 51 hit(s) |
(0 comments) |
embrace my lips
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| and yet so again.. |
August 13th, 2008 @ 3:52pm |
so first day of school.. not my favorite.. not that i have ever had one.. pretty sure psych was my favorite no wonder eric loved it so much.. which today without him basically sucked fucking ass.. and like after french.. i went to the commons and was like ok so school is done where do i go now.. and like i was litterally lost like i had no idea where to go next.. and i missed holding him at the end of my day.. i missed not having him there to gauk about the fact that i was dressed up and that he just mm wasnt there.. i dont want to be a senior if it means i dont have my eric.. i guess i need to grow up though.. he's been weird.. still but i guess i dont blame him.. he is probbaly still afraid of me because of dad..
think it kind of made him not like me.. which i dont know how to change that.. i hate how we wont see each other much.. but then it will make every moment that we do see each other even better maybe.. i hope so!! i really miss him already just from not having him at school.. uh! i seriously love that boy.. and orchestra.. god orchestra will not be nearly as fun with him not next to me.. not that it was ever fun but it made orchestra worth going to.. and pretty sure ill probbaly first or second chair which i totally dont want to be!!.. but whatever i guess..
ill be done.. i have homework..
i really really want eric to show up to part of my game today!!! please make him come just for a while even though i havent really told him much about it yet!! please
i want to hug him really really really really badly right now like really bad..
and i want him to kiss me sometime.. he never ever kisses me..
i always kiss him..
i want a hug.. and i want a kiss.. badly.! |
| 47 hit(s) |
(0 comments) |
embrace my lips
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| i just. |
August 13th, 2008 @ 3:52pm |
basically i just hate me.. still.. i really just give up.. like when im with him its just weird..
im sick of just about everything.. you know i can tell him he is such a good person and tell him what i really like about him and i get nothing back in return.. he just sits there.. telling him everything made me realize how much i have loved him.. but i wish he could tell me how he feels.. as he never ever ever does.. i dont know what i expect i guess.. pretty sure i really do suck at life.. there is absolutely nothing to be happy about thats for damned sure.. nothing in life right now has got me going on an absolute high.. pretty sure i just hate myself..
what can you do about it.? |
| 66 hit(s) |
(0 comments) |
embrace my lips
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| the world to end. |
August 13th, 2008 @ 3:52pm |
so today is gonna be the worst day.. i think im gonna see whats going on.. today i want to make him feel bad..
i feel like shit right now.. to know that everything he says to me is fake.. i wonder if he notices that i havent said i love you since forever.. god i feel like shit shit shit..
life is miserable right now.. me and erica i guess ..
in some way i wish i could honestly just die before the day even gets started.. just gone.. then i wouldnt hvae to do anything.. then he could go on with his merry little life.. and i wouldnt be there so he can go and play with other girls if he wants to..
let me die please!!!!! |
| 47 hit(s) |
(0 comments) |
embrace my lips
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| so.. |
August 13th, 2008 @ 3:52pm |
so dad was a fucking jerk last night..i dont htink i've ever been more embarrased in my whole entire life..
and then today everything is "fine" like he had a pillow fight with me and like i dont know its weird and i hate it..
we werent even doing anything and we were laying down because of me.. it was pathetic.. then eric wouldnt talk to me anymore..
now im just afraid he hates me and plans on breaking up with me again.. uh i am a serious failure..
i just hope eric is ok.. i think that scared the shit right out of him. but let me tell you it scared me too.. but probably more of eric even though when i asked him he said he was fine.. uh but the way he wouldnt look or talk to me.. even if there wasnt anything he could really say.. uh i felt missarable i really really really dont want to lose him over that.. gosh..
then ill have that to blame on dad..
i just really hope things will be ok.!
yea.. i officially suck at life.
also apparently everyone in my household and even the one not in my house.. thinks im sad.. that im depressed.. pretty sure i just dont know what im suppose to do anymore.. i wouldnt mind hanging out with eric.. but im pretty sure he might be to tired to do anything and when he's tired.. he doesn't talk which then makes me feel terrible..
i really think he is mad at me..
today i just do want to seclude myself from everything and everyone..
pretty sure the next time me and eric are on the couch together.. he probably wont even hold my hand.. uh which isnt fare.. cuz he can.. and he can lay his head on my tummy just not lying next to each other i guess. which is entirely stupid! uh i just wish i knew every answer.. i bet if eric got his car this weekend.. he would have been happier yesterday.. i wish i made him happy instead of his stupid car..
he loves that thing more then me honestly.
one more thing.... he never did anything to earn me back either. |
| 60 hit(s) |
(0 comments) |
embrace my lips
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