something similar happened to a friend of mine. She wa swith the guy for three months after it happened. he threatened her and told her she wanted it. eventually she was just empty and unresponsive.

[vampiregoddess]

Rape takes awhile to get over. It makes you rethink is it my fault did I lead this person on. When it was that person all along. I still think of the b/f who raped me but I know just because I didn't scream doesn't mean it wasn't rape. I said no he knew I didn't want to do any thing with him but he didn't care. He actually was confused as to why I dumpted his ass and threw a lamp at him after he had finished.

[wickedtigress]

tha luck in tha world hun, and if you ever wanna talk, you know where to find me on tha net. Much luv hun!!!

[flertkilla]

...realize that it takes time to get over the pain, and that no one will be able to make the pain go away permentally besides yourself. I turned to many people in my life to try and make the pain go away, as I know you probably have, but I have learned that no matter how hard it is, the truth is that only learning who you realy are and learning to love yourself and realize that it's not your falt at all will take tha pain away. I wish you all...

[flertkilla]

...love this person before it dosen't matter. All that matters is how you feel. I too have used sex as a "comphert zone". I understand that it didn't matter if the person loved you are not who you were messing wid, it wuz actually better if they didn't love you because that way it would hurt yourself more. I also turned to alot of other self destructive things like cutting and using serious drugs. I am over most things now, you juzt gotta...

[flertkilla]

I know people hate when people say this, but this time it's true. I know almost exactly how you feel. Although my vergininty was stolen from me when I was much younger (9) and by someone that was my stepdad, instead of tha way it was with you, it being someone who was supose to love you, I have went through many of the same things that you said that you went through. You juzt have to realize that it wasn't ur falt at all, even if you did ...

[flertkilla]

hey darl its ok. i just mean people here..where i live. i feel so disconnected from most people.

hope you are well

[exploited]

OMG, ya'll look so cute in ur halloween outfits! lol. Anymawayz, yeah I had fun 2. I dressed in my Juggalette outfit and went bagsnatchen lol. Sorry about everyone getting pissed off...that sux! I hope everyone gets un-pissedoff. lol.

[flertkilla]

Oh well hun...I guess that's too bad 4 me then lol!

[flertkilla]

Thanx for tha luv hun! Yeah...I've been resting. It sux, but I gots to do it lol. The whole thing with Nicole IS verry confusing lol. I love her to death though. It's like right now she's straight...but maybe latter she'll be bi again and I'll be right there by her side. And OMG girl! You look sooo... pritty in those pictures!!! It's kinda scarry cuz u look like one of my ex-girlfriends Lindsey lol. Well talk to ya latta hun!

[flertkilla]

Yes it sucks when it can't be personal but I'm ok with that. Things are looking up and I'm a lot better so its good.

[waiting4u]

I'm glad to hear your happy thats great!!, yeah my mate is more like a brother to me really we have a good thing going, anyway all the best. RickyT

[yayrickyt]

Thanx hun. Yeah I know wut you mean about letting it get to you. I'm doin alright now though it's juzt that I was all sad and shit over Nicole cuz she told me that she didn't love me like that right now, but she probably would latta...I don't understand that but wutever, I guess I'll juzt have to learn to deal. Much luv hun...latta.

[flertkilla]

I wish I was happy now :-/

Thanks, my friend on my myspace made my header picture for me and I really like it so I figured I would put it up n a few places.

Hope that things are good and missed you

♥

[waiting4u]

i just sat here practily reading all ur entrys& i luv it ur diary maks so much sense & i have to say i feel the same way...lifes so confusing


♥

[heartattcksxox]

There are no real answers or quick fixes. You just have to trust in yourself to make the best choices you can about the people you want in your life. Sometimes these choices hurt because they were close to you. Sometimes there easy. We never think about those choices after they're made. You just have to train yourself to believe in your choices. Even if everyone is tell you the opposite. You're stronger than you think! I believe in you exist!!!!!

[eprhodes]

Hunny listen...you don't have 2 change urself 2 be happy! Expecially not in2 a slut cuz believe me I know that sluts get hurt 2!!! I use 2 be a verry big 1 so I know. And juzt alwayz remember even if it don't feel like it, you do matter! ur feelings do matter! everything about you matters! If a relationship fucks up it's not alwayz ur falt and even if it is it's okay because they wern't ment 4 u anywayz. I hope you feel better hun!!!

[flertkilla]

Guess your not haveing a great time at the moment, just remember that there's pleanty more fish in the sea, so to speak.
I can kinda relate to whats gone on tho and i know how much it sucks, but you'll come away from this stronger than before, beleive me.

[yayrickyt]

Aww, don't be sad and don't cry because that sucks too ...

If you ever want to IM anyone you can always IM me ... ernkckzbutt

[waiting4u]

sniff.

i know how you feel.

i know you don't think i do but trust me.

let me know if you want to talk or something.

i love ya.

[vakkergotisk]

just remember i love you

[exploited]

You have some very interesting pictures on your diary. Like the header pic and the shattering heart. I like it!

♥

[shmucketyduck]

I wish I had something more to say than guys are douches

[waiting4u]

Hunny...remember, you don't have to give up on relationships and dating...juzt give up on dating assholes. I hope you feel better soon!

[flertkilla]

aww. you poor thing. i know how it goes. i still cry at night. let me know if you want to talk ok?
mkwaa.

[vakkergotisk]