Pain hurts; but don't let it blind you. If I could know you in person - I'd say what a pleasure life is! :-) - someguy -

[anonymous (92.10.70.83)]

No, I didn't know that, lol... I hope you are well :-)

[someguy]

I hope all is well with you this weekend! Keep Cheerful madam! ..oh.. and I'm from England :-) ..for an extra random fact about me, I'm half latin american from my mom's side - hence the name Jose (and Luis, my middle name). And yourself if I may?

Take care ok.. 'dream yourself a beautiful dream'! :-)

[someguy]

It can often do a world of good and be rather comforting to be able to keep getting out what's on your mind.. often doing so will also help you understand better what it is you're going through - even thoughts or things that you didn't know were there!

I do have a myspace.. www.myspace.com/man_machine_superhuman ...I also have a facebook and if you ever wanted, I use AIM and MSN too - take your pick of the above? lol!

[someguy]

Without it, you are vulnerable. Treasure yourself enough by simply loving yourself and if someone you give your love to is not the right hands to treasure your heart, then deep down, no matter how that person treats you, you will never lose that ‘inner richness’ that makes you believe your heart is worth finding. Am I still contradicting myself? lol Sometimes you just have to dig deeper to understand something. Keep Cheerful and hope you are well

[someguy]

'Keep your heart hidden safely' doesn't mean to not let yourself be loved; it means to keep the inner richness of your heart hidden so that your heart with its inner richness (the treasure in essence) is never stolen. Every time you love someone, you are letting them get close to the inner richness of your heart. Your inner richness is everything that makes you feel worthy and powerful in life.

[someguy]

And as for the 'heart' entry! I can see how you might've thought that I was contradicting myself, but both sayings have different meanings. The flower talks about what the heart needs, the treasure talks about what the heart can be - as in full of richness - and to be full of such translates into the importance of the treasure (the heart) being kept safe so that one day it can be found by the right person.

[someguy]

But keep trying for your 'search to believe' and eventually you'll get there - that I promise you! You'll find belief in one way or another!! Remember... doesn't matter how long it takes, just matters that you don't stop so that you get eventually get there!

If I don't bore your mind with the way and things I talk about, then I'd much enjoy and appreciate being able to continue talking to you about anything at all! Up to you :-)

[someguy]

And no one can disagree with you for being the perhaps cynical person that you now are. If you ask me, I get the feeling that you've been doing a lot more well in hope and optimism than you care to give yourself credit for!

You are at the least searching to be able to believe in life again. It ain't gonna happen overnight that you can see and will know.

[someguy]

Honestly, take as long as you need so to get an improved perspective on life, but even though I don't know the story behind what you had with your fiancee, clearly it seems like you had alot and that you had your life set out for you - your dreams coming true as you pretty much said to me!

Seems to me like you took a whole load of punishment with not just a part of your life, but your 'whole life'.

[someguy]

Deaths of loved ones are perhaps the hardest 'hit' to handle. And I understand and agree that what you went through is not in essence the same as what I went through with my mom or as you yourself know, wasn't the same as what you've been through with other loved one's that you lost earlier in your life. It's been almost 4 years now since what happened to you.

[someguy]

Well.. I hope your friend didn't laugh too much at what I said, lol.. but.. a person can say alot to you in how you can feel better and I think sometimes, we already know that advice anyways... but.. no matter how much advice you get fed, such is not going to work a miracle of giving you overnight hope, optimism and all else. It won't work like that!

[someguy]

Depending on how hard the hit, not always will it be easy to push through, but what counts is purely the fact that you can push through!! Life isn’t easy, but that doesn’t mean it can’t be lived to the full!

Maybe you already know all this, but knowing is not always the same as doing… don’t you think?

[someguy]

I only tell you this so that maybe you can believe that if ever you need to or such in whatever way you feel, I do understand how you feel, but I do also believe that you can always make your life have hope, trust and belief in good things for you no matter how hard or many times you get hit in life.

[someguy]

...sister or brother. Come the day if anything bad did happen to any them, my heart will be hit hard and I would wonder still, how on earth do I cope with that! But in the end all that we must do is get up and keep pushing through.

[someguy]

Friend – there is many a cynical thought that I have endured in life and still do. I don’t know how many people go through this in life on a daily basis or at least every couple of days even… but to share with you; there was once a time as a teenage boy and now a time in my current days, where I go through life fearing that I will lose all those around me. I become cynical about the bad things that could happen to my nephews, my elder...

[someguy]

We will take hits in life that knock us down and keep us down if we allow it to. Nothing or no one will ever hit us as hard as life will, but it’s not about how hard you get hit, it’s about how many times you can get hit hard, and yet, get back up and still keep pushing through. (Not my sole words).

[someguy]

...and begin again to be able to believe and see the possibilities for your life to be just as great as it perhaps once was, if not even more. Your past does not map out your future if you do not let it. And guys letting you down? Well, that’s guys, but sometimes you have to go through the bad to find the best – otherwise how do you know you’ve truly found the best? And we all deserve the ‘very’ best in life!

[someguy]

I don’t know if what I say helps you to feel hope for your future. When you think of your future but in the past tense of all the bad you have been through, you’ll find that all you will see is a future which will be empty of hope and trust and belief. Though when you think of your future in nothing but a future tense which can be without all the bad that you’ve gone through, then you can begin to see hope, to see trust...

[someguy]

When straying slightly from this negative thought to perhaps see some light, I would then think about what if a woman I could love would get hurt just like my mom did, how would I bear such a hit to my heart again. I would then lose belief in what I thought could be possible.

[someguy]

..though it was my heart which belonged to my mom and I couldn’t believe that my heart would be able to find a woman like her again.

[someguy]

I wanted to drop out of university because I couldn’t see the worth that it was placing in my life. Me being me with the beliefs (about myself) that I have in life, I didn’t see hope, I couldn’t trust, and I couldn’t believe that I would ever be able to love another woman in my life. Sure, the love for your mom is different to that of a woman whom you love intimately..

[someguy]

When you love someone so much, someone who has touched your heart like no other, then lose them; you’re not going to see life as clear as you once could. Any happiness, hope, trust and belief you had in life, as you said, will ‘die and be buried’ along with the person whom you loved so much. That happened with me when I lost my mom. I really didn’t know who I was anymore.

[someguy]

...and hope against the inevitable… in 5 months after being given her prognosis, she died.

[someguy]

If I may, I will tell you a short story. I don’t know if you’ve read any of my past entries and thus come across me mentioning about my mom. My mother, she died last October at the age of 55. My mom, she had terminal cancer – wasn’t even allowed the chance to see if she could get treatment to at least try and fight her cancer, no, by the time she was fully diagnosed, it was already terminal so all she could do really was fight with belief...

[someguy]