Sep 30, 2009

you are speaking my langauge. you'll get there one day. we're both going to get there. i want to hang out with you. very soon. what do you think?

[ffffalling23]

Sep 30, 2009

you are speaking my langauge. you'll get there one day. we're both going to get there. i want to hang out with you. very soon. what do you think?

[ffffalling23]

Sep 10, 2009

i hate my life.
i want to be happy.
you seem happy.
i'm really glad things are going well with you and ashley.
i wish i could say the same for glenn and i.
i just deleted the last year and eight months worth of entries. it was over 800, gone.
i've saved them to print them out one day. but i'm going to erase everything from the actual diary. start fresh. i need that.
please continue to be well <3

[ffffalling23]

Aug 6, 2009

Sleep was the most beautiful shit to me. Till I started having nightmares about glenn =[ I hate my life. Why can;t we just be happy?

[ffffalling23]

Jul 23, 2009

i love her. this is the best picture ever.

[static]

Jul 22, 2009

AWE CONGRATS!!! I've been feeling pretty optimistic myself.
Could this be a turn of events for us?
Better knock on wood, don't want to jinx us.
=] Love ya.

[ffffalling23]

Jul 14, 2009

I just want to be dead.

[ffffalling23]

Jul 1, 2009

Keep your chin up lady. We'll survive this. We always do...

[ffffalling23]

Jul 1, 2009

Oh God. Intentions. Fucking tell me about intentions. I'm inherently evil, apparently. Because I don't intend to slaughter innocent people or break hearts, but I always end up doing so. I'm just some kind of glowing red demon I guess. I know all about fucking INTENTIONS. My father always tells me I'm so much like him it scares him. He doesn't want me to go through the same things he put himself through.
I'm planning to attend Warped Tour. I have to figure out how to afford the tickets right now, since I won't have the money until a week too late. But I will do everything in my power to be there. If we bumped into one another I'd be ecstatic. =]

[ffffalling23]

Jun 24, 2009

Yeah fuck going with the flow. The flow always dumps my ass over a giant fucking waterfall from hell. Oh Susie, why do our lives suck so much so often? Glenn and I are... off and on, I don't even know. I met a girl at PRIDE and now she's in love with me. I really like her, but I love Glenn. Oh fuck me and my retarded ass life. I'm sorry things aren't going as planned. Keep your chin up kid, and I'll try to keep up mine.

[ffffalling23]

Jun 2, 2009

=/ i know all to well what you mean... i'm sorry.

[ffffalling23]

May 27, 2009

Oh and I love you. ♥ Kelly

[ffffalling23]

May 27, 2009

She found your sit? That doesn't sound good. Hey sorry I've been M.I.A. Life is so stressful lately, I don't feel very motivated to write about it. It's shit essentially. I'm sorry to hear about your friend. =/ Stuff like that is tragic, and I can honestly say I've never experienced it. So I can't even really relate. But I am sorry, and I hope things start to look up soon, for both of us.

[ffffalling23]

Apr 23, 2009

shut up susie, that's real. =] i am a sexual creature. and i'm losing that. it makes me feel like i'm losing myself... really the only part of myself i was EVER sure of.

[ffffalling23]

Apr 21, 2009

you're beautiful. your mind is beautiful. i'm glad you didn't leave forever. you're completely right. i'm ashamed to admit being guilty of some of those things, maybe minus the need to feel superior, that kind of sickness manifests in most of my close friends. i don't mind that i don't have much of anything. but i know i perpetuate issues by turning them over and over in my head and feeling them day in and out without stopping frequently enough to assess what it's doing to me, how it's affecting my moment to moment functions. and it's shocking and sickening how much it does. i'm lost in my own head, more so lately than ever before. and i know i need to move away from the endless word count, and try living without the constant narrator in my head. or at least try to :)

[ffffalling23]

Mar 26, 2009

haha alright well have fun. love you hun. night.

[ffffalling23]

Mar 26, 2009

i can relate all too well. i feel like i'm losing my mind. so much is going wrong, and i just feel hopeless.

[ffffalling23]

Mar 26, 2009

thank you susie =]
only issue now is being alone so much. i hate how quiet the apartment is and i never have anything to do. it makes not contacting him difficult.

[ffffalling23]

Mar 26, 2009

fuck it wont let me leave the whole comment
im gonna post an entry

[ffffalling23]

Mar 26, 2009

but when he told her that he and i were back on [apparently he called her when we split]

[ffffalling23]

Mar 26, 2009

he was angry and combative. but since then he doesn't seem to have a problem NOT speaking to me. I was kind of bad, and I got into his myspace, to find that an old coworker of his was trying to get together for a lunch date.

[ffffalling23]

Mar 26, 2009

well thats good. im trying to stay positive also. it's difficult, like you said, but i'm doing my best. i broke it off with glenn. things were getting too out of control for me i guess. now i just wish i knew more lesbians lol.

[ffffalling23]

Mar 26, 2009

so are you good or not?
i want you to be happy.
i wish you didn't live so far away.
=/ i HOPE you are as happy as you seemed in the last entry.
and if you aren't, then i hope you become that happy very soon.

[ffffalling23]

Mar 26, 2009

i'm so happy for you.
it's great to hear that you've been well.
it gives me hope.
congratulations on quitting also, i'm proud of you.

[ffffalling23]

Mar 19, 2009

you've disappeared. i hope its because life is so wonderful for you right now that you haven't any time to write here. cause if it's going anything like mine is... well ya know =/ anyways i miss you. hope all is well.

[ffffalling23]