| Fuck It |
August 13th, 2008 @ 3:51pm |
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everything and anything is gone.. i just dont care..or i get these moments when i dont. because i know that i do about somethings but thats only because a certain someone pushed me to a challenge i'd be more than willing to take. but this isnt about that. i just wanted to write because i havnt in awhile. me and cooper are blahh.. its hard to explain it i really hate it. i really really do. it bugs me more than anything else in my life right now..next to that is this whole soccer thing.. and i hate some people i really do.. like honestly soccer is my get away and no one can see that. i hate soccer at school though, its fun, but i never try and sometimes i just give up to easily and i hate that too. i miss the smiles and the laughs and i hate the person i became over this short period of time.. i hate how i dont know you anymore.. and if you say that i know you the best out of anyone.. then your not being yourself. i hate the fact that thier not okay and how i thought they were. i hate it because it was a promise that they would always be.. and now, now it just doesnt seem that way, hes not the type to break a promise.. and love. love isnt forever i wish it was, but its just a word with so much meaning behind it. a word that wont last forever, doesnt last for forever. it lasts for a part of your lifetime, forever would be.. forever not just a section in your life. 20 years though.. it doesnt seem that long but i guess it must be. so a love so strong everything fades.. i thought it was good i really really did.. the things going on.. the smiles, the laughs, the night outs, the hugs, the i love yous, all blown up into my face as if its just an act which hinds benith it.. i have no idea. u know real friends.. even people im just getting to know ask what or if anything is wrong, even when i was mad at someone when i saw they were down i came to them and just put everything else on the side.. but no i dont get that favor.. but i guess its just cuz ur different right? ur better then it all and thats the sad part about it too. i still think about that one night, and i still wonder what it would be like it if ever happened or if i still even feel the way i did. i want to fall.. just fall in wake up as if nothing happened and just for it to be like it used to, sometimes i miss them to much.. and then maybe i just miss my life with them, it was perfect...and i was happy. |
| 122 hit(s) |
(1 comments) |
Dont.Forget.Me
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| Its Different For Me. |
August 13th, 2008 @ 3:51pm |
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I love you.. and got to attached, I guess you will never feel the way i do because you would have never said that if you did. |
| 55 hit(s) |
(0 comments) |
Dont.Forget.Me
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August 13th, 2008 @ 3:51pm |
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-I deleted you as if you ment nothing, only to think about you constintly. |
| 57 hit(s) |
(0 comments) |
Dont.Forget.Me
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| I hate this. |
August 13th, 2008 @ 3:51pm |
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You've changed into everything i wanted you to... and i hate it. I miss everything you did about a month ago but you just dont care anymore. I wish i never said those things i wish i knew i would feel like this, i wish i knew how far away you would feel from me. Im a fucking idiot, then again maybe if you changed when i wanted you to..maybe then none of this would have even happened to make me feel like this.. |
| 53 hit(s) |
(0 comments) |
Dont.Forget.Me
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| Quote |
August 13th, 2008 @ 3:51pm |
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its the worst feeling in the world to love & hate someone in the exact same second. its hard to watch things change when all you want is for them to stay the same. when you want everything & nothing at the same time. when you want to let go but you keep holding on. when you want to move on but your stuck right where you started. when feelings come & go & you cant decide what you want. when you have so many things to say but you dont know where to start. when deep down inside you know if you lose this, its gone & it will never come back. when you want them in your life so bad, but all you can do is push them farther & farther away. its so hard to think back to how things used to be & look at now & realize that things are different & they will never be the same. you tell yourself its not worth it, but if it really didnt matter, you wouldnt spend so much time thinking about it
i found this on one of my friends nexopia's page.. and it just made sense to me and it ment something with me and my bestfriend...i miss him. |
| 126 hit(s) |
(11 comments) |
Dont.Forget.Me
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August 13th, 2008 @ 3:51pm |
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I dont wanna be like this but it consumes me and I cant control it. Its almost like i know im loseing you but i just cant say anything, Its what makes me like i am when i talk to you. I hate it cuz i shouldnt expect things to be like they used to, even tho thats how we both wanted it. He cant do that and im still stuck on it. I miss the phone calls and him asking me real questions instead of pointless ones and the random times he would call. I miss how he wouldnt waste a min. with me on the phone and just had to talk. I miss the random hugs and the smiles, just like him, i miss how we talked and how i layed on him without him having to think 'sexually' on it. I miss the park more than anything, but i know that even if we went back there it would make it shitty too. I miss laying there because we needed to talk for 10 mins and have it go for 2 hours. I miss the guter and the 'falls' I miss how he used to tell me his dreams without feeling awkward. I miss myself how i was around him. I miss the endless talks about who we were and things that happened to us in the past. It didnt just make me upset over the fact that, its the only thing that can make you feel like that now, but the fact how i miss you making me feel that way. i miss the fact that im not the only one whos changed. I hate how i am because of how you've changed and even though i've told you i was gunna be like this. its only cuz i knew how much you would mean to me and how small of things you needed to do to hurt me. I miss you trusting my word when i said nothing even though i knew you knew something was wrong, but you would leave it...ect
most importantly i miss how you used to remember why i said i didnt like you doing it, because its not that it bugg's me or i was against it, or i didnt like it, or anything else like that because i know you know those are wrong. It hurts cause it just happened to be the fact you forgot when it was part of the conversation that had to do with me telling you why i liked you. out of all theses things that i miss... none of it matters because your more busy with everything else and im happy you've moved on like that. |
| 66 hit(s) |
(0 comments) |
Dont.Forget.Me
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| Sleepless Nights |
August 13th, 2008 @ 3:51pm |
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Its those times when you almost think your gunna go for it and then everything turns around. Its those times you make someone feel happy again. Its those times when you realize another one feels that way. Its Those times where you realize that you were right and that you shouldn't have let it get to you so much. Its Those times When you learn how to smile. Its those times when the tears start to have meaning. Its those times that make you want to laugh. Its those times that you can be relaxed with someone. Its that look you get when you look into someones eyes. Its that feeling of never wanting to let go. Its that feeling of being Alone. Its that feeling of friendship, Of knowing someone is always gunna be there. Its the feeling of Lust and the feeling of 'love'. Its that yawn every morning you wake up because you couldnt fall asleep over the night before.. |
| 107 hit(s) |
(1 comments) |
Dont.Forget.Me
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| Why Now? |
August 13th, 2008 @ 3:51pm |
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ive never ran away from anything.. untill now and its almost like i cant stop.
i want to so badly but i know its wrong and I just cant. I wish he knew me better.. then he would understand but he doesnt so it just hurts more. after i hang up that phone its almost as if the last person just let me go and didnt try to even help. but it wasnt that way.. it never was. He just doesnt understand how to. Theres nothing better for me then to go n do what i've been wanting to do.. but i cant. it would just me running again and i cant do that.. not with this.,. and not now. it involes to much so much things to the point where it doesnt matter what i do because everything is here all at once and im gunna have to reck something to stop it.. but thats not me either.. someone was right about me, someone that i didnt think would have been. but he was.. he told me what i choose to do was gunna be hard... but then this other thing.. i never knew it was gunna be this hard to top every other thing off.. it was going easy untill the past month thought it would change.. but i cant see it doing that. then i make things busy for me to think maybe it would get my mind of it.. but it just made it worse.. it used to be once a day i wasnt busy it would come.. now its every secound im not busy every minunte im away from it all.. it just hits and thats ten times worse then it ever was.. but i shouldnt care, i should just let it happen.. and see what it becomes in the end.. see what happens, with everything , see what i will do with my life and what i will deiced, see what i will start doing to things i would never do..
Theres only one way to put this..and those words arent made for this feeling. |
| 75 hit(s) |
(2 comments) |
Dont.Forget.Me
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| maybe. |
August 13th, 2008 @ 3:51pm |
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maybe its suppose to be this way..
maybe its suppose to hurt like this
maybe there are going to be certain things that i just cant say..
school is over.. or just begun. i missed school today and in a way it made it all worse...
i missed school not because i was sick, sore or tired.. but for other reasons.
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| 59 hit(s) |
(0 comments) |
Dont.Forget.Me
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| its that one day. |
August 13th, 2008 @ 3:51pm |
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its the only day i have that has its meaning still.. i wake up on my birthday, easter, thanksgiving.. its just another day like every other.. chirstmas.. yay a tree.. is the only thing that really makes me feel good.. other than that.. just another day.. valentine day.. is a waste and new years.. i love new years.. its the one day that still has meaning.. and this year.. i dunno if i wanna care about it anymore.. its the one day i wanted to have for me and not care.. but i did and now im stuck with it.. and its just gunna be like every other day starting the year after the heartach. |
| 59 hit(s) |
(0 comments) |
Dont.Forget.Me
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