after 14 months my boyfriend and i broke up. i hate everything about it. i cant even explain it. my life completely sucks. KANAPEANNN!

sitdiary! how are you?! andd idk what to tell anyone. im still w/ my boyfriend 10 months Friday. he is my best friend & i love him more than anything. other than that. idk.

omggg. were in yearbook i love writing in here randomly. emily is depressed. she loves cleevus. shes sad. all of the time i think i will report to a counsler. oh elysia is behind me. people love to talk about us. HA HA HA HA. HARDCORE OUT.

OH HI. its been awhile since ive wrote here. how have you been? do you understand my life has gone through so much? who cares. LOL HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA. HA. im sitting here with elysia & emily. watching dustin watts code, troy, zach jones, & rezy play xbox 360. i have a new boyfriend. his name is patrick i like him. =] I dont know what else to type abouthim. elysia hooked us up. nice of her huh? yeah. 2 months on the 19th. WHEEEEEEEE>!>>!>!>! so in 6 months when i look at this again ill laugh with glee. love you. <3. LOL

hi. its been what, forever? junior year is going pretty good. i am junior class president. and i got homecoming princess. wheeee. still single. and this time when i update. no one has died. thank goodness right? im lonely. and i dont want to be lonely anymore. boys confuse me. KRISPY KREME DONUTS TOMORROW. all i have to say. <3.

what do i say? i lost a friend in the time lapsed. he was killed in a car accident. im still devestated and its been over a month i miss him so much. RIP JJH. 6.3.06 always love you broke up with my boyfriend. yeah... im really tired of people. im so sick of meaning NOTHING. yeah whatever. as my bff would say RANT RANT RANT RANT whatever. i miss you jess.

hi. lifes okay. still got my bf still got my best friends. still got my family. summers coming soon thank you god.

still here

My uncle died yesterday. im still in shock i think. its so hard, our whole family is so close. and i dont know what to do. I want to cry a lot but i dont.. the viewing is tomorrow night & the funeral is wednesday. im missing school. how could I go to school & miss that?.. how could I feel okay doing that? i ran to danielles cause kayla was there when i found out he had a heart attack and started crying when she hugged me.. then max came over and my mom called and told me he didnt make it and i just fell apart. i felt bad ruining max's time.. My uncle was one of the sweetest men there was. we always went swimming in his pool and he always fixed the rocks around it.. He loved christmas at our house. it hurts.. rest in peace uncle carl.

nyc was yesterday-it was so awesome! ive never been there until yesterday so it was really cool. different then what i could've expected but it was still really cool. the museum i thought would be boring but it was really awesome. it had some of the coolest & prettiest things ever. the bodies exhibit was AMAZING. seriously amazing. go see it if you have a chance. it is the coolest thing you will ever see in your life. youd never expect it, but it is. I GOT TO HOLD A BRAIN!!!! we saw a hobo with a sign "needs money for beer drugs and hookers [hey at least i aint bullshittin ya]" HAH and of course-the winner is BLAISE. ahahah i have the best friends. and we have the greatest times ♥ ♥ oh and my boyfriends great. =] love.

fatty should be back tomorrow =D this makes me very very happy. ive missed school the past 2 days. i went to the emergency room this morning. mom thinks i have a kdiney infection. the old doctor said " theres nothing we can see to treat " in other words--he thinks im faking. WHATEVER. so im going back tomorrow. i miss everyone anyway. YOU KNOW WHAT PISSES ME OFF? when people but their noses into places they DONT belong. when they run their mouth and have absolutely no right to. when because they are so jealous of everyone they cant let anyone else be happy. that pisses me off. and. yeah. there are other things making me mad. but i dont think i should say them here. because it could get back to people ya know. mm, gotta be a little secretive. i miss you♥

hi. max leaves tomorrow for FBLA and hes gone until friday. i hate when he leaves. i feel dead inside. the spanish trip to NYC is monday--im pretty excited. and i might have my new cell phone by then. LOLYNDSEY IS GETTING A CINGULAR RAZR♥ i am psyched x a bagillion!!! anyway.. i dont really have anything to say--lifes pretty ok cant really complain.. nothing out of the ordinary.. blah blah. alright im done. love yous.

..during the course of my life i havent learned much really; ive just gone through it with a smile on my face as much as possible and made the best out of anything that came my way. no matter what i wouldnt hold grudges i let go of things faster than anyone that i know of. but i stayed devestated for months- and i hated myself every minute that i was like that. I hated hating him. and i finally got sick of it i was so fed up with hating myself more than anything that i stopped holding it against him. Ive made friends with both of them again. and it feels; surprisingly awesome fattys happy about it; cause their bffs- and now i dont make his life akward.. i think maybe it was my new blonde hair;; okay im just blaming it on my hair now. Because im not sure exactly WHAT fully changed my mind i was just like okay done. im done. and i was happy.. not that i wasnt happy with my boyfriend or my friends before but there was always that nagging at the back of my mind like nanannana you're going against everything you stand for--and now im not. and its good. so now its just kind of like before, where were all friends-and sure its a little akward at times between us but nothing that makes me want to jump off a cliff, ya know?? it alll is falling into place. IM OKAY how good it feels to say that--it feels so relieving to not have to feel so terrible all the time for no reason, because i have every reason in the WORLD to be happy. its so good, oh so good. however; my bff from another school district is mad at me because i didnt go see them.. and freaked out and made me feel terrible. i cant make everyone happy im realizing this. and no i dont think its okay it still makes me feel terrible when i make people mad or sad but how do you fix something that you dont think is broken? ya know.. i want to swing off into the sunset; i want to swing and swing and never look back.. atreyus new cd is nothing less than amazing. id donate a kidney. liver. heart. lung. ribcage. spine. [insert any body part here] to meet them--they are my life. =] ♥

hi. nothing new; still with my fatty♥ i like him =] rode home w/ Kayla & Brad & Brady today. listened to the new atreyu album. it was fun =] kayla&brad are fun. uhm. this weekend will probably end up sucking. max might go to a concert with.. saturday; if he does we cant hang out uhm. yeahhh.. i dont have a thing to say. love♥

i woke up at 8. did nooooooothinnggg. and then i got ready Kayla & Brad showed up. brad got me a hippo flashlight & this cuuute bear keychain and kayla got me edward figurines♥ then i went to maxs at 1. =) i like it there. From him i goooot: THE ROCKET SUMMER CD♥ An ADORABLE robot shirt♥ The TTYL Book i wanted =D [cause i like to read okay?] and 2 cuuuute cards♥ and katie got meeee a picture of me & max from the dance in a cute frame. I LOVE ITTT. so then we ended up deciding we were gonna go out with brad & kayla. so they showed up and we went to dickson city we saw STAY ALIIIIIVE!! so good. SO SO SO Gooood i loved ittt. then we went to petco. lawl. kayla got 2 fish & a tank. we went to the dollar store, but didnt get anything. thennnnn we went to BORDERS. i got the new spitalfield CD i wanted &&&&&& 3 books cause i like to read OKAY. all in all it was the best way to spend my sweet 16. with my boyfriend. my best friend. my best friends boyfriend/my friend. oooohhh I LOVE LIIIFE

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME, HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR ME, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME ♥♥♥

bored. its 8:26 just got home from kaylas an hour ago. and im tired x4607 and idk why. max is somewhere far away. he didnt know where it was hes retarded But im going over sunday. MY BIRTHDAY ....i miss him RAWRxCARExLOLZxIMGAY. I NEED THIS KBYE.

MY BIRTHDAY IS IN 5 DAYSSS!!! =] im going to be 16. im quite excited/nervous i guess. idk im such a LOSER. so anyway. Friday i went home with billie and we were rebels and stayed up SO late and got up SO late ;) ok SARCASM fo sho. then saturday was her big bash. and everyone came over and it was so much fuuuuun I♥GLENDAA!! LAWL!!! Hmm. this weeks pretty boring. I went to the chriopractor today. I feel really good. Max is leaving thursday friday & saturday. for forensics. UGH =( makes me wanna cry. i hate forensics for doing thisss. HOPEFULLY the estros are going bowling friday =] THAT will be fun. saturday i might hang out with max. if not then i will sometime sunday. WHICH IS MY BIRTHDAYYYY and my family will come over. THEN. MONDAY IM CUTTING/DYING MY HAIRRR!!! =] TUESDAY=ATREYUUUUU♥♥♥♥ Oh and andy milonakissss! im going to buy themmmm. im so excitedddddd okay. well. say crack again.. CRACK ♥Lynds

AT BILLIES!!! I LOVE HER A LOT! we have a lot of fun. =] and we watch little kid shows AND instant starrrr!!♥ and i love life today. K BYEEE

..... things really make me mad. i dont know why i care so much. but i cant help it i just do maxs was fun =) hes a fun boy. i like him. kbye.