| [708]Identity |
February 15, 2008 |
This sounds completely ridiculous, but the only time I was ever fully comfortable with myself was when I had the opportunity to change my appearance. It used to be that each time I felt depressed, I'd chop all of my hair off, dye it some off the wall shade, and dump my current boyfriend. I can't explain it, but changing the path I was on in life always felt so enlightening. I got closest to myself when I distanced myself from others.
Unfortunately, at some point in the past three years, I let some unfamiliar force take control of my life. This unfamiliar force is what I believe to be a metamorphasis. I am reaching a new chapter in my life, and I am forced to let go of the old. I cannot stay the same forever ... that very thought is unsettling.
I wonder if the transition from adolescence to adulthood will feel like the time I felt my childhood slip through my fingertips. I remember the day my youthful energy diminished and my soul was no longer as carefree as a child's. I am losing my identity. Adulthood carries with it so many demands, yet so few rewards. |
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