| Dear Kitty 139 |
June 24, 2008 |
There's nothing to say, but everything needed to be said.y
I don't know what you did to me. I've been feeling lonely and lonely-er as the days go on. I've noticed that I want something different. Not just one hook up, I want a relationship. One that means something with the both of us. I want to say that I'll wait for you forever, but I just doubt I even have a chance. To you I'm just a friend and you find every excuse to just not be with me. I just really wish you'd tell me what you really feel. Like I did, although it was purely out of stupidity. Oh well. I'm yearning for something different. Something with meaning that lasts months, maybe even years. I want something steady with a great guy, but will the great guy that will do this come my way? Is he willing to make me happy as I'm willing to make him happy? Gah, I have so much love that I just want to give... but I'm sort of scared too. But I want to put the fears aside, like I did with you. Gah.. too bad you didn't stop me before I got in this deep. You always gave me hope that I was at least something to you, but you were just trying to be nice. :/ |
| (0 comments) | Love me<3 |
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| Dear Kitty 138 |
June 18, 2008 |
Things could have been different.
You talked to me of change. You made me dream of it, and then I did it. Then I thought we could change together, be more than friends. You gave me hope like no other and took them away because of what time of the year it was. Now I lay in bed dreaming of what I could have been with you, what we could have been. It drives me nuts that I know that I poured my heart to you and you couldn't even respond. Everyone is telling me that I should forget about you, but it's so hard. I think... I really think I might have loved you. :[ There was always a chance. I wish we could see each other as much as we used to, now I'm just stuck here thinking about you. Thinking that we could have been so happy. I'm sorry I wasn't enough.
"I fought You for so long
I should have let You in"-
Be My Escape by Relient K. |
| (0 comments) | Love me<3 |
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| Dear Kitty 137 |
June 11, 2008 |
Counting down 'till insanity begins
Hah. I'm counting down the days until there's even a chance we can hang out. How infuriating that is. I look at my phone hoping that by some chance that the planets have gotten arrange in a certain way so that you could call me or text me. Gah, how typical and pathetic of me :/ |
| (0 comments) | Love me<3 |
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| Dear Kitty 136 |
June 6, 2008 |
Thoughts on a blackboard.
I'm very confused. Last day of school he's supposed to stay after school, but he can't. Last night I asked him to come to a party at my house, but he can't. I'm almost 100% sure that he isn't lying to me, but all the chances I get to hang out with him, he sort of can't. I don't understand why the timing is off. I want to get to know him, to truly know if I love him. And then there's this song. That's been chasing me on the Radio. I turn on the radio, it's on. When I'm about to turn it off, it's on. When I zone out and I'm reading a book and then I decide to think a little about the whole situation, it's on. When I'm about to go to sleep thinking about him, it's on. It's chasing me and it means something. I know that it's his song. But I don't know what I'm supposed to do with the clue. Look into it or look over it. Just look at the fact that it just symbolizes him, or the actual lyrical meaning. Hah, I must sound out of my mind, but I guess this is what summer does to me :] |
| (1 comments) | Love me<3 |
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| Dear Kitty 135 |
May 30, 2008 |
Indesicions makes me giggle.
Gah, I love him. Don't I? Two weeks ago, he tells me he likes someone else. And now this week its me. :] I'm such a dork, I'm attempting to be blind about the whole ordeal; I don't know how long it will last. I told him that I wouldn't be able to have the movie thing this weekend, but I offer up staying after school with me. He readily agrees and I smile like an idiot. Man, I really like him, but I just hope he's not messing with me, eh. |
| (0 comments) | Love me<3 |
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| Dear Kitty 134 |
May 23, 2008 |
My brother is going off to college, and the one I like is crazy for another girl
How stupid am I? I'm supposed to be happy for both of them, but I'm not. I'm scared to let my brother go because then I'll be the only one that will be able to defend my dad and I from my mother. He's four years older but he seems like he's still my brother.. the one that was twelve. Gah, I'm going to miss him.. and I'm going to cry if I continue to write about him. Gah, he's my hero.
And now to the boy I like. He knows I'm head over heels inlove with him, but he likes someone else. So what do I do to cope with it? Ignore him... look at him longingly and when he turns to look at me.. I scowl and look away. I mean, seriously. And then I think he knows something is up because when he said goodbye, he had this tone of voice.. it was like woah. But I responded in a cold sort of way. I don't know, if I'm nice he'll be nice back and then I'll be more inlove with him. But if I ignore him, he'll be hurt and so will I. Why is this hard? Gah, does anyone have advice? It would honestly be helpful. |
| (1 comments) | Love me<3 |
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| Dear Kitty 133 |
May 15, 2008 |
I find myself wondering.
Wondering about reasons behind actions. Why did this or that happen, or what would have life been with out this mistake or another. But I really don't care. That's what makes my life distinguisable from everyone elses. All these constant pains, are the things I learn from. :] |
| (1 comments) | Love me<3 |
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| Dear Kitty 132 |
May 10, 2008 |
But sometimes time has to be a factor.
He said this to me and I've denied and changed millions of things to be with him. He's made me better, and now he officially knows I love him; but 'things are going with Natasha' that's freaking gay. I love him, I really love him. It's driving me nuts. I really love him, but I'm officially 'not out of the picture' or so he says. But I'm going stay in the freaking corner, waiting for him. How pathetic must I be? |
| (1 comments) | Love me<3 |
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| Dear Kitty 131 |
May 1, 2008 |
National Day of Prayer.
Dear Lord;
I pray for forgiveness for my sins, those I've done knowingly and those I have comitted with out thought. I will do penitance for the forgiveness I have asked for.
I also pray for guidance. Guide me, O Lord, to do right and to show other's how You true and just You are. Guide me, O Lord. That's what I ask, guide me to do right, guide me to get through this situation, and guide me to be a better person. Guide me, Lord.
I also pray for this country and it's leaders. May this upcoming Presidental Election bring goodness and peace to the United States. May the newly elected President be a good leader that will lead Your flock to greatness.
I pray last for all those souls crying out for help. May You help them and guide them on the road to heaven. May anyone in need be helped by Your merciful hand.
I pray this, Lord, and also give You thanks for everything You have given me. May I be a loyal follower. In Your name I pray and live.
Amen.
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| (0 comments) | Love me<3 |
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| Dear Kitty 130 |
April 30, 2008 |
“Lately, the weather has been so bi-polar; And consequently, so have I."
It explains it all. |
| (0 comments) | Love me<3 |
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